MORE BREAKING NEWS: A FEW MORE BARBIE AND KEN DOLLS FOUND IN THE BACK ROOM!!!!

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MERRY CHRISTMAS, TODAY ONLY!!! For those "later-than-last- minute-Christmas-shoppers", or all of those, "must-have-their-Christmas-list-already-written-in-their-dayplanner-shoppers," we found a few more dolls in our inventory! But, hurry these dolls are going fast!

Last Days Ken: Still mad that Y2K wasn't the end of the world, this dolls comes with everything neccessary for the next possible end-of-the-world date, including his very own home generator, a 100 gallon propane tank, M2K meals for 5,000, 2 wheat silos, plus a copy of The Bible Code, and all of the writings of Nostradamus, as well as every thing else necessary to be prepared and finally get this date right!

Primary Chorister Barbie: With a smile that's painted on, a songbook in one hand and an arm that never quites swinging, this Barbie uses every trick up her sleeve to try to get the children to please sing louder -- from threatening to quit the Church to kissing each child on the lips with her bright red lip-stick to using individual state-of-the-art brain wave shock treatments, this Barbie sings like she (and only she) believes she will be the next coveted contestant on American Idol.

Basketball Ken: This Ken comes with his own attorney! Pull the string and listen endlessly as Basketball Ken brags about how he should have been in the NBA had he not accidentally turned his cell phone off during the draft. Watch Basketball Ken teach about faith, hope and charity on Sunday, then show up at his Thursday night's game "ready to rumble." See Basketball Ken get in another fight, throw all of his accessory folding chairs as he stomps off the court after what he considers to be another unfair foul. See him talk to his attorney after the game "to discuss all his options."

STAY TUNED! WE'RE STILL CHECKING THE SHELVES FOR OTHER DOLLS UNACCOUNTED FOR, PLUS BREAKING NEWS: WE HAVE JUST COME ACROSS SOME OTHER LDS CLEARANCE ITEMS:

NEVER-FAIL BLAZER B STRAIGHTJACKETS - "Now I have the most reverent class in all of Primary!"

FAST SUNDAY, SEVEN-COURSE-MEAL CHEWING GUM - "I love this gum! Ever since using this gum, I to church and can concentrate better because I don't feel hungry at all!"

LIFE-SIZED, PRIMARY TEACHER SUBSITITUE CARBOARD FIGURES - "We never have problems finding substitutes now!"

ONE-LINE-FITS-ALL ADAM AND EVE PEDIGREE CHARTS - "Our family never has to worry about their genealogy again! Now everyone can go back to Adam in one easy step."