PIONEER BREAKING NEWS: IF LDS PEOPLE HAD TO WALK ACROSS THE PLAINS TODAY, TOP TEN ITEMS THEY'D HAVE TO TAKE WITH THEM!

IF LDS PEOPLE HAD TO
WALK ACROSS THE PLAINS TODAY,
TOP TEN ITEMS THEY'D
HAVE TO TAKE WITH THEM:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

1 - Cases and cases and cases of de-caf, diet soda
2 – Cases and cases and cases of chips
3 – Cases and cases and cases of cookies
4 – Barrels of fry sauce
4 – Wagon loads of candy
5 – Battery-operated TV/DVD, plus remote control with a wagon load of batteries7 – iPod with wagon loads of batteries
8 – Cell phone with wagon loads of batteries
9 – Wagon loads of scrapbooking materials
10 – Wagon loads of basketballs

GENERAL CONFERENCE BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN COMMENTS OVERHEARD WHILE STANDING IN LINE FOR GENERAL CONFERENCE

TOP TEN COMMENTS OVERHEARD
WHILE STANDING IN LINE FOR
GENERAL CONFERENCE

(By Bettyanne Bruin )

1 –

I wonder if the line’ll be this long

to get into Heaven!

2 –

I wouldn’t even stand in a line this long

to meet my eternal companion!

3 –

How many of us in this line

do you think are related?

4 –

With a line this long,

it’s amazing we don’t drink!

5 -

I hope we don’t find out this is the line

to use the restroom!

6 –

And the pioneers thought they had it rough

crossing the plains!

7 –

I guess this is what the scriptures mean

when they say, “Endure to the end!”

8 –

Just think, if we keep doing missionary work,

this line’ll be even longer!

9 –

Just think, Honey, this line could represent

all of our posterity!

10 –

You’d think in a line this long

they could at least serve refreshments!