COZY BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN SIGNS TO TELL IF YOU'RE IN A LDS HOME

TOP TEN SIGNS
TO TELL IF YOU'RE
IN A LDS HOME
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

1 - Scriptures on the coffe table
2 - Proclamation to the Family hanging on the wall
3 - Large dining room table with lots of chairs
4 - Survival kits by the front door
5 - Fifteen passenger car parked in the driveway
6 - All the volumes of Work and the Glory on a bookshelf
7 - Something BYU displayed somewhere
8 - A cupboard filled with candy, cookies and soda
9 - Zuccinni growing in the backyard
10 - Some form of tree piece of artwork, showing the family's pedigree

SUNDAY SCHOOL BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN THINGS ON A SUNDAY SCHOOL PRESIDENT'S SUNDAY TO-DO LIST

Top Ten Things on a
Sunday School President’s
Sunday To-Do List
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

1 – Get up late enough to not comb hair
2 – Pick suit, shirt and tie up off floor from last week
3 – Get dressed.
4 – Go to Sacrament Meeting.
5 – Go to Sunday School.
6 - Wander halls.
7 – Yell at teenagers.
8 – Pick litter up off floors in hallways.
9 – Ring buzzer.
10 – Go home.

BOO-HOO BREAKING NEWS: TOP THEN THINGS THAT MAKE MORMONS CRY

Top Ten Things That Make Mormons Cry:

1 - Baby Blessings
2 - Testimonies
3 – When BYU loses to the U. of U
4 - When their funeral potatoes are burned
5 - When a fast food restaurant is out of fry sauce
6 - When, the night before fast Sunday, their favorite all-you-can eat restaurant is closed
7 - When they just missed the biggest srapbooking sale ever! (Dedicated to Gennie -- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GEN!!!)
8 – When they accidentally buy a Coke instead of a Pepsi (or a Pepsi instead of a Coke)
9 – When someone brings them a candy bar AND IT'S NOT CHOCOLATE !!!
10 – When they don’t get “their seat” in the chapel.