A FEW, NEW LDS NURSERY RHYMES
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
All around the Primary room
The teacher chased the student.
The student thought 'twas all in fun.
Quit! goes the teacher.
The genealogists find their ancestors one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The genealogists find their ancestors one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The genealogist find them one by one,
another one stops, can't find someone
as they all go marching
back
to the garden,
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Baa, baa, high priest,
Do not talk so dull.
Yes ma’am, yes ma’am,
Tis been an hour's lull;
Now done for the father,
And done for the dame,
And done for the Bishop
Whose going insane.
The Mormons love green Jell-o,
The Mormons love green Jell-o,
Hi-ho, the derry-o,
The Mormons love green Jell-o.
The Mormons take the carrots,
The Mormons take the carrots,
Hi-ho, the derry-o,
The Mormons take the carrots.
The carrots go in the Jell-o,
The carrots go in the Jell-o,
Hi-ho, the derry-o,
The carrots go in the Jell-o.
The Mormons eat the Jell-o,
The Mormons eat the Jell-o,
Hi-ho, the derry-o,
The Mormons eat the Jell-o.
The Mormons stand alone,
The Mormons stand alone,
Hi-ho, the derry-o,
The Mormons stand alone.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Thursday, May 05, 2005
WARNING BREAKING NEWS: MORMON URBAN LEGENDS
Mormon Urban Legends:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
THESE STORIES ARE NOT TRUE!!!
But, How Many of You Can Resist The Urge to Really Believe These Stories Might Be True? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
1. Re: Get Ready:
In a few weeks, church directories will be released to telemarketing companies and you may start to receive sales calls. Call this number from your phone 888-382-1222. Doing so will add your phone number to the national "Do Not Call" list. It should block your number from telemarketing calls for 5 years.
2. Subject: FW: Please Read!!! This could save your life!!!
This is not a joke and is pretty gross. If you are faint of heart or stomach don't look at funeralpotatoes.jpg This is why you should never mess with a funeral potato casserole! Warning the picture is pretty gross, it's what's left of one of the casserole! The following pictures are of the casserole dish after five active LDS family members attacked it for Sunday dinner. The casserole was in a 9X13 dish, with corn flakes sprinkled on top and potato stuck and burned to the side. Think about it. This thing could have served twelve people of normal size, but…
3. Re: Fw: And you thought the funeral casserole was bad!!!
Three women in Utah turned up at three different hospitals over a 5-day period, all with the same symptoms: Inability to concentrate, an overwhelming desire to spend money, followed by speeding, rudeness in a crowd and finally, death. There were no outward signs of trauma. Autopsy results showed no toxicity in the blood. These women did not know each other, and seemed to have nothing in common. It was discovered, however, that they had all visited the same Scrapbooking Store within days of their deaths. The health department descended on the restaurant, shutting it down. The food, water, and air conditioning were all inspected and tested, to no avail. The big break came when one of the employees at the store was rushed to the hospital with the same symptoms... She told doctors that while she was at work, each of the above-mentioned ladies had insisted the employee look at photos of the other women’s dead ancestors to which the employee suddenly became dizzy. She did not eat or drink while she was there, but continued to look at the ancestor’s pictures. That is when one toxicologist, remembering an article he had read, drove to the hospitals and looked at the pictures of the ill ladies’ ancestors as well. Investigators finally concluded that looking at photos of dead ancestors can be very hazardous to your health and even cause death. It is now believed that people from all over the country are susceptible to this disease. Please, before looking at any pictures of dead ancestors, make the decision to not look at them for too long. It could save your life! And please pass this on to everyone you care about.
4. Subject: FW: Wrapped candy anyone?
Charming........
This incident happened recently in Utah.
A woman went to church on Sunday and took with her some wrapped candies with her. On Monday she was taken into ICU and on Wednesday she died. The autopsy revealed a certain Leptospirosis was caused by trying to eat the wrapped candy during Sacrament Meeting. A test showed that unwrapping the candy wrapper to quickly released dead rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis. Rat urine contains toxic and deathly substances. It is highly recommended to unwrap the candy slowly before eating it as the candy has been stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without with being cleaned. A study in Spain showed that wrapped candy is more contaminated then public toilets i.e full of germs and bacteria. So opening them quickly is advised before putting them into the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident.
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
THESE STORIES ARE NOT TRUE!!!
But, How Many of You Can Resist The Urge to Really Believe These Stories Might Be True? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
1. Re: Get Ready:
In a few weeks, church directories will be released to telemarketing companies and you may start to receive sales calls. Call this number from your phone 888-382-1222. Doing so will add your phone number to the national "Do Not Call" list. It should block your number from telemarketing calls for 5 years.
2. Subject: FW: Please Read!!! This could save your life!!!
This is not a joke and is pretty gross. If you are faint of heart or stomach don't look at funeralpotatoes.jpg This is why you should never mess with a funeral potato casserole! Warning the picture is pretty gross, it's what's left of one of the casserole! The following pictures are of the casserole dish after five active LDS family members attacked it for Sunday dinner. The casserole was in a 9X13 dish, with corn flakes sprinkled on top and potato stuck and burned to the side. Think about it. This thing could have served twelve people of normal size, but…
3. Re: Fw: And you thought the funeral casserole was bad!!!
Three women in Utah turned up at three different hospitals over a 5-day period, all with the same symptoms: Inability to concentrate, an overwhelming desire to spend money, followed by speeding, rudeness in a crowd and finally, death. There were no outward signs of trauma. Autopsy results showed no toxicity in the blood. These women did not know each other, and seemed to have nothing in common. It was discovered, however, that they had all visited the same Scrapbooking Store within days of their deaths. The health department descended on the restaurant, shutting it down. The food, water, and air conditioning were all inspected and tested, to no avail. The big break came when one of the employees at the store was rushed to the hospital with the same symptoms... She told doctors that while she was at work, each of the above-mentioned ladies had insisted the employee look at photos of the other women’s dead ancestors to which the employee suddenly became dizzy. She did not eat or drink while she was there, but continued to look at the ancestor’s pictures. That is when one toxicologist, remembering an article he had read, drove to the hospitals and looked at the pictures of the ill ladies’ ancestors as well. Investigators finally concluded that looking at photos of dead ancestors can be very hazardous to your health and even cause death. It is now believed that people from all over the country are susceptible to this disease. Please, before looking at any pictures of dead ancestors, make the decision to not look at them for too long. It could save your life! And please pass this on to everyone you care about.
4. Subject: FW: Wrapped candy anyone?
Charming........
This incident happened recently in Utah.
A woman went to church on Sunday and took with her some wrapped candies with her. On Monday she was taken into ICU and on Wednesday she died. The autopsy revealed a certain Leptospirosis was caused by trying to eat the wrapped candy during Sacrament Meeting. A test showed that unwrapping the candy wrapper to quickly released dead rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis. Rat urine contains toxic and deathly substances. It is highly recommended to unwrap the candy slowly before eating it as the candy has been stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without with being cleaned. A study in Spain showed that wrapped candy is more contaminated then public toilets i.e full of germs and bacteria. So opening them quickly is advised before putting them into the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident.
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