TOP TEN TEACH A MORMON TO...
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - Teach a Mormon man to be determined
and he’ll beat his fellow quorum leaders
to make sure his team wins every Ward basketball game!
2 - Teach a Mormon woman to be thrifty
and she’ll knock over small children,
old ladies and store shelves
to be first in line for a scrapbooking sale.
3 - Teach a Mormon to be prepared
and they’ll fill wheat silos,
purchase armored cars,
acquire bullet proof vests as well as an AK 47
to make sure they’re prepared
for whatever comes their way.
4 - Teach a Mormon to have family ties
and they’ll picnic on their ancestor’s graves.
5 - Teach a Mormon woman to be a 100 percenter
and she’ll knock on your door at midnight,
pull you out of bed
and make sure her Visiting Teaching is done.
6 - Teach a Mormon to have fun
and they’ll laugh their way
through a loved one’s funeral.
7 - Teach a Mormon to sacrifice
and they’ll give up anything
and everything (every organ included)
unless it’s their chocolate, Coke or Pepsi.
8 - Teach a Mormon to be nice
and they will…
until someone steals their seat in church.
9 - Teach a Mormon to be obedient
and they will…unless they’re late for church.
10 – Teach a Mormon to
