Wednesday, December 07, 2005

POLITICALLY CORRECT BREAKING NEWS: FINALLY POLITICALLY CORRECT NAMES FOR CALLINGS AND OTHER FOCUSED MEMBERS OF THE LDS CHURCH

FINALLY!!! POLITICALLY CORRECT DEFINITIONS OF CALLINGS AND OTHER FOCUSED MEMBERS OF THE LDS CHURCH
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

Can you guess who each of these are (answers are listed below):

1 - Especially in Confined Environments of Lengthy Verbiage, a Consciously Challenged, Deceased-mimmicking Elderly Male Subject is also known as the Ward:

2 - An Extreme Behavioral Coordinator Over Adolescent Male Management Issues is also known as the Ward:

3 - The Executive Director of a Substantially Enormous Group of Religiously, Mentally, Socially, Physically, Intellectually, Financially and Culturally Malformed Mortals of Celestial Potential is also known as the Ward:

4 - A Permanently Medicinalized Female Hominidae Voluntarily Subjected to the Benefaction of a Population of Other Equally Permanently Prescriptionalized Females is also known as the Ward:

5 - A Homo Sapian Capable of Only Minimal Sojourns to Regional Familial Abodes is also known as the Ward:

6 - A Chronic Acquirer of Aggregate Details of the Anciently Deceased is also known as the Ward.

7 - A Female Sibling of the LDS Religious Environment Possessing an Addictive Quality to Massive Adhesive and Parchment Products for Purpose of an Unknown Reason is also known as the Ward.

8 - An Anxiety-ridden Individual Containing Massive Proportions of Catastrophic Information Regarding the Possible Ceasement of Society is also known as the Ward:


1- High Priest
2 - Scoutmaster
3 - Bishop
4 - Relief Society President
5 - Home Teacher
6 - Genealogist
7 - Scrapbooker
8 - Last Days Expert