TOP TEN THINGS LDS PEOPLE FEAR DISCOVERING
AT THEIR ANNUAL TITHING SETTLEMENT:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1. That someone found their tithing settlement statement -- which only included part of their tithing payments -- on the floor of the church foyer.
2. That between the church records and their records, they really are $3,000.00 behind.
3. That as long as they are are at their tithing settlement, the Bishopric would like to go ahead and extend a new calling to them as the next Ward Camp Director.
4. That they really are behind in paying a full tithing and it’s too late to submit any more donations.
5. That they thought they paid every month, but they really only paid every other month.
6. That the make-up check they submitted last week bounced.
7. That the Bishop was suddenly hospitalized and turned tithing settlement over to a man they would prefer never know how much money they earn annually.
8. That their tithing is paid in full, but complaints have been received regarding their children's behaviors.
9. That the Bishop’s door was accidentally left ajar during their entire tithing settlement.
10. That they show up for their appointment only to find no one there, and discover tithing settlement is over and everyone they need to settle up with is out of town until after the New Year.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
HAPPYNEWYEAR BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS LDS PEOPLE MAKE AND BREAK
TOP TEN NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
LDS PEOPLE MAKE AND BREAK
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions LDS people always make:
1. Stop drinking and/or eating ALL caffeinated products ever created here on the face of the Earth!
2. Read the Book of Mormon, absolutely, word for word, from cover to cover.
3. Pray, on knees, morning, noon and night.
4. Fast every single month for at least twenty-four hours.
5. Write ten pages in journal every single day.
6. Stay awake for entire three-hour block of church.
7. Do my genealogy for at least five generations back.
8. Do 100 percent home/visiting teaching every single month and give a message at each home visited.
9. Engage in heavy aerobic exercise for at least one hour every single day.
10. Be extremely patient with everyone around me.
Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions LDS people always break:
1. Stop drinking and/or eating ALL caffeinated products ever created on the face of the Earth.
2. Read the Book of Mormon, absolutely, word for word, from cover to cover.
3. Pray, on knees, morning, noon and night.
4. Fast every single month for at least twenty-four hours.
5. Write ten pages in journal every single day.
6. Stay awake for entire three-hour block of church.
7. Do my genealogy for at least five generations back.
8. Do 100 percent home/visiting teaching every single month and give a message at each home visited.
9. Engage in heavy aerobic exercise for at least one hour every single day.
10. Be extremely patient with everyone around me.
LDS PEOPLE MAKE AND BREAK
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions LDS people always make:
1. Stop drinking and/or eating ALL caffeinated products ever created here on the face of the Earth!
2. Read the Book of Mormon, absolutely, word for word, from cover to cover.
3. Pray, on knees, morning, noon and night.
4. Fast every single month for at least twenty-four hours.
5. Write ten pages in journal every single day.
6. Stay awake for entire three-hour block of church.
7. Do my genealogy for at least five generations back.
8. Do 100 percent home/visiting teaching every single month and give a message at each home visited.
9. Engage in heavy aerobic exercise for at least one hour every single day.
10. Be extremely patient with everyone around me.
Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions LDS people always break:
1. Stop drinking and/or eating ALL caffeinated products ever created on the face of the Earth.
2. Read the Book of Mormon, absolutely, word for word, from cover to cover.
3. Pray, on knees, morning, noon and night.
4. Fast every single month for at least twenty-four hours.
5. Write ten pages in journal every single day.
6. Stay awake for entire three-hour block of church.
7. Do my genealogy for at least five generations back.
8. Do 100 percent home/visiting teaching every single month and give a message at each home visited.
9. Engage in heavy aerobic exercise for at least one hour every single day.
10. Be extremely patient with everyone around me.
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