TOP TEN COMMENTS
FOUND IN THE DIARY
OF A WARD NURSERY LEADER:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – “Dear Diary: I just have one question:
what did I do wrong in the pre-existence to deserve this?”
2 – “Dear Diary: I’m just getting over another cold…”
3 – “Dear Diary: I’ve been in this calling now for 3 months,
2 days and five minutes.”
4 – “Dear Diary: Today I bought ear plugs.”
5 – “Dear Diary: Why was snot invented?”
6 – “Dear Diary: Today I only took 4 Excedrine.”
7 – “Dear Diary: I’ve decided the only way out of this
is calling is to develop a bad case of claustrophobia
or some highly contagious disease for which there is
no cure.”
8 – “Dear Diary: Please forgive me. Sister Parkinson
has been driving me crazy lately
with all of her perfectionist demands
so I purposely fed her kid red punch and Oreos today.”
9 – “Dear Diary: I think it would be easier
to keep 80 ping pong balls under the water
at the same time than to get all of the kids quiet
for just one minute to hear a lesson.”
10 – “Dear Diary: I’ve decided I’m not on enough
medication yet to keep me going in this calling,
so I’ve decided to ask to be released.”
Friday, June 09, 2006
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
NEWS FLASH !!!! JUST IN!!!!! JUST IN TIME FOR 6/6/6!!!BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN THINGS LDS PEOPLE BELIEVE ARE OF THE DEVIL!!!!
TOP TEN THINGS LDS PEOPLE
BELIEVE ARE OF THE DEVIL
(in honor of 666) plus a few extras, just for the fun of it!!!
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - Chewing gum on Fast Sunday
2 - Ouija boards
3 - Water
4 - Opening your eyes during a prayer
5 - Anything that is both immature
and disgusting
6 - Swear words
7 - Halloween masks
8 - Tank tops and/or wife beaters
9 - Rap music
10 - Caffeine
11 - Infringing on copyright laws
12 - Ripping the tag off the mattress
13 - Staying up past midnight
14 - Bear hug slow dancing
15 - Lottery tickets
16 - Going cross-eyed
17 - Facial hair, especially goatees
BELIEVE ARE OF THE DEVIL
(in honor of 666) plus a few extras, just for the fun of it!!!
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - Chewing gum on Fast Sunday
2 - Ouija boards
3 - Water
4 - Opening your eyes during a prayer
5 - Anything that is both immature
and disgusting
6 - Swear words
7 - Halloween masks
8 - Tank tops and/or wife beaters
9 - Rap music
10 - Caffeine
11 - Infringing on copyright laws
12 - Ripping the tag off the mattress
13 - Staying up past midnight
14 - Bear hug slow dancing
15 - Lottery tickets
16 - Going cross-eyed
17 - Facial hair, especially goatees
GENEALOGICAL BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN EXCUSES WHY SOME LDS PEOPLE CHOOSE NOT TO DO THEIR GENEALOGY
Top Ten Excuses Why Some
LDS People Choose Not To Do
Their Genealogy
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – Because it will all be taken care of
in the millennium anyway.
2 – Because I’m too busy in my calling
to print up the Sacrament meeting
program each week.
3 – Because my ancestors all belonged
to other religions and none of them have ever
appeared to me, stating they want their work done.
4 – Because I feel like someone will be born
into my family some day who is supposed to do it.
5 – Because I can’t afford to do it.
6 – Because I’m waiting until they find a faster,
easier way to do it.
7- Because if I did my genealogy
I never would be able to go on vacation
with my family again.
8 – Because I’m saving it for when I get older
and have nothing better to do.
9 – Because I have too many relatives.
10 – Because every time the choice to do
my genealogy comes up, I chose to do something else.
LDS People Choose Not To Do
Their Genealogy
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – Because it will all be taken care of
in the millennium anyway.
2 – Because I’m too busy in my calling
to print up the Sacrament meeting
program each week.
3 – Because my ancestors all belonged
to other religions and none of them have ever
appeared to me, stating they want their work done.
4 – Because I feel like someone will be born
into my family some day who is supposed to do it.
5 – Because I can’t afford to do it.
6 – Because I’m waiting until they find a faster,
easier way to do it.
7- Because if I did my genealogy
I never would be able to go on vacation
with my family again.
8 – Because I’m saving it for when I get older
and have nothing better to do.
9 – Because I have too many relatives.
10 – Because every time the choice to do
my genealogy comes up, I chose to do something else.
Monday, June 05, 2006
TEACHING BREAKING NEWS: TEACH A MORMON TO...
TEACH A MORMON TO...
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
Teach a Mormon
how to be determined and they will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, including drawing blood, to win a Ward basketball game.
Teach a Mormon
how to be thrifty and they will knock over shelves and cash registers to be first in line for a scrapbooking sale.
Teach a Mormon
how to be prepared and they will buy wheat silos, armored cars and bullet proof vests to be ready for the Second Coming.
Teach a Mormon
how to have family pride and they picnic on their ancestors graves.
Teach a Mormon
how to be 100 percent visiting teacher and they will knock on your door at midnight, pull you out of bed and give you the message for the month.
Teach a Mormon
to serve and they will eat ten servings of ice cream.
Teach Mormon
to have fun and they will have fun, even at a loved one’s funeral.
Teach a Mormon
how to sacrifice and they will sacrifice everything but their candy or soda pop.
Teach a Mormon
to be nice and they will be very nice until someone steals their seat in a theater.
Teach a Mormon
to be obedient and they will be very obedient unless they’re late for a church meeting.
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