by Bettyanne Bruin
1.
For about five years,
you are "out" while everyone else is "in".
2.
This is when you run the highest risk
of being called into the nursery.
3.
You will, most likely,
have to give a talk in sacrament meeting...
unless your first name is Kristin.
4.
Because of the unspoken reserved seating in the chapel,
you have no idea which one pew is available
for your family to sit on in sacrament meeting.
5.
You now have to listen in Sunday School
rather than looking around the room
and projecting what's probably happening
in the lives of every other person in class.
6.
Trying to convince yourself that
the sea of fake smiles
that constantly approaches you
really is real.
7.
When you and/or your spouse
bump into that old flame
or the relative of that old flame.
8.
Trying to figure out which of the many odd groups
you will end up hanging out with and,
until you figure this out,
realizing you have to be nice to all of them.
9.
Hoping your first comment in Sunday School
helps you fit in
and not alienate you even more.
10.
The overwhelming fear that one day
your bishop will call and say,
"You seem like nice people,
however we prefer
you not attend
our ward anymore."
For about five years,
you are "out" while everyone else is "in".
2.
This is when you run the highest risk
of being called into the nursery.
3.
You will, most likely,
have to give a talk in sacrament meeting...
unless your first name is Kristin.
4.
Because of the unspoken reserved seating in the chapel,
you have no idea which one pew is available
for your family to sit on in sacrament meeting.
5.
You now have to listen in Sunday School
rather than looking around the room
and projecting what's probably happening
in the lives of every other person in class.
6.
Trying to convince yourself that
the sea of fake smiles
that constantly approaches you
really is real.
7.
When you and/or your spouse
bump into that old flame
or the relative of that old flame.
8.
Trying to figure out which of the many odd groups
you will end up hanging out with and,
until you figure this out,
realizing you have to be nice to all of them.
9.
Hoping your first comment in Sunday School
helps you fit in
and not alienate you even more.
10.
The overwhelming fear that one day
your bishop will call and say,
"You seem like nice people,
however we prefer
you not attend
our ward anymore."
