TOP SELLING BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN LDS ITEMS SOLD ON EBAY

TOP TEN LDS ITEMS SOLD ON EBAY
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

1 – A piece of Gladys Knight’s left over French toast.
2 – A video tape of Donny Osmond’s last family birthday party.
3 – A bug in a jar that made it across the plains.
4 – One round-to-it
5 – A CD of Steve Young singing Christmas carols.
6 – A Basketball signed by Thurl Bailey before he joined the church.
7 – A copy of My Turn on Earth in Chinese.
8 – Someone’s calling as a Scoutmaster.
9 – A Primary picture with Johnny Depp in it as a visitor.
10 – A sealed envelope with a guaranteed date for when the millennium is to begin.

REDEEMABLE BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN MOST POPULAR LDS COUPONS

Top Ten Most Popular LDS Coupons:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

1 – Coupon good for saying “No” to one church calling.

2 – Coupon good for one free upgrade in the Celestial kingdom.

3 – Coupon good for claiming one year of 100 percent visiting/home teaching on all of your assignments.

4 – Coupon good for one free trade-in on any mission call assignment.

5 – Coupon good for forgiveness on committing one sin of your choice.

6 – Coupon good for being able to pursue the activity of your choice on any Sunday you choose.

7 – Coupon good for being able to choose, free of guilt, one R-rated movie of your choice.

8 – Coupon good for being able to use someone else’s food storage, should an emergency arise.

9 – Coupon good for being able to find out the scoop on one person of your choice in your Ward.
10 – Coupon good for being able to eat on the Fast Sunday of your choice.

TASTY BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN UNOFFICIALLY APPROVED SACRAMENT MEETING TREATS

(HJB VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: This entry is inspired by attending Stake Conference on Sunday. Sat in the Cultural Hall, half way back, which means we got there just as the meeting started. As meeting wore on, the air conditioner did not kick in. The air became thick, became hard to breathe, maybe even suffocating; hot. In my despair, I glanced three rows in front of me just in time to witness what looked like a good LDS girl, sitting in her row with about ten other family members, pop open a can of soda! GEEZ! Some times life just isn’t fair! Have you ever seen any unusual things eaten in Stake Conference, or anything else crazy like that take place? Answer them in the comments section and I’ll post them, so we can all enjoy.

So, here’s to the girl who sat three rows in front of me:

Top Ten Unofficially Approved Sacrament Meeting Treats:

1 - Cheerios

2 - Fruit Loops

3 – Teddy Grahams

4 - Gum

5 – Tic Tacs

6 - Lifesavers

7 - Individually wrapped candies (Jolly Ranchers, Werther’s, taffy, bulk candy)

8 - Altoids

9 – Possibly a Capri Sun if hidden in scripture bag with just straw sticking out.

10 – Possibly that little cheese and cracker tray with the red spreading stick, if used slowly and quietly.

Top Ten UNAPPROVED Sacrament Meeting treats:

1 – SODA!!!!

2 – Pop rocks

3 - Popcorn

4 – Peanuts

5 – Doughnuts

6 – Lunchables

7 – McGriddle breakfast tray

8 – Beef jerky (Kristin)

9 – Pizza

10 – Roast with mashed potatoes and gravy

AMERICAN IDOL BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN THINGS THAT PROVE ACE, FROM AMERICAN IDOL, IS MORMON!!!

Top Ten Things That Prove Ace,
from American Idol, is Mormon!!!
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

1 - His mother attends a Ward in Boulder, CO (see bio, then click on comments at aceyoung.net) – could be LDS
2 - Another kid remembers him from his Primary class (see bio, then click on comments at aceyoung.net) – could be very LDS
3 - His last name is Young - VERY LDS
4 - When he was voted off American Idol he said, “Gosh!” - EXTREMELY LDS
5 - His first name is Brett - DEFINITELY LDS
6 – His middle name is Asa, after his LDS grandfather – ABSOLUTELY LDS
7 – According to his bio, he has four brothers - POSSITIVELY LDS
8 – According to his bio, he loves sports - GOTTA BE LDS
9 – He laughed a lot - HAS-TO-BE LDS
10 – He seemed to be very confident in front of a crowd – UNBELIEVABLY LDS