Top Ten Things Seen at the 24th of July Parade:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – 10k and marathon racers attempting to wave and smile because they actually know people in the crowd.
2 - Salt Lake motorcade with Sheriff’s wearing fake mustaches
3 – Floats sprayed one entire metallic color (usually gold, purple or green), including live people, trees, cats, dogs!
4 – Sweaty clowns that scare both children and adults.
5 – Band members with too-tight, polyester, hand-me-down band outfits being sprayed with water sprayers to keep them cooled off.
6 – Too much horse poop.
7 – Too many motorized pooper scooper carts
8 – Old, fat Shriner’s driving Model T mini cars
9 – Tons of pamphlets from other religions.
10 - Groups of anti Mormons holding signs arguing with LDS people.
THE BEST: The Samoan band!!!!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
OH MAN BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN MOST POPULAR LDS BRAG-WHINING STATEMENTS
TOP TEN MOST POPULAR
LDS BRAG/WHINING STATEMENTS
(by Bettyanne Bruin)
BragWhining: noun; When a LDS person tries to camouflage a total brag within a whine. Example:
1 -- I am sooooo tired because I stayed up all night finishing the entire Book of Mormon.
2 -- I hate this. I am soooooo nervous. I mean being the new Relief Society President is one of the biggest jobs in the church!
3 -- Oh man, I am soooooooooooo exhausted. I mean we had to pack up our entire family, drive to Mexico and then teach an entire community how to cook and clean.
4 -- I am soooooooooooooooo poor. Oh man, after buying that houseboat and jet skis, then hosting that week long party for the Ward, what more should I expect?
5 -- I am so mad. We thought our brand new, ten thousand square foot home would be done by this weekend and the contractor says the one-of-a-kind imported tile shipment from Italy is going to be late!
6 -- I am sooooo sore. I spent the entire weekend pulling every weed in our non-member neighbor's yard and then his neighbor asked me to pull his too.
7 -- Look at my hands. Can you believe it? They are all cut from spending the entire day out at the Bishop's storehouse loading and unloading 20 pound food crates.
8 -- It is so hard having 12 children. Some days I think I am going to die because I have sooooo many children.
9 -- I can't believe how much stupid time it takes to meet with our financial investor to go over all of our investments.
10 -- I have spent soooooo much time doing all of my geneaology, all the way back to the early 1200's, that I'm afraid I might go to go blind.
LDS BRAG/WHINING STATEMENTS
(by Bettyanne Bruin)
BragWhining: noun; When a LDS person tries to camouflage a total brag within a whine. Example:
1 -- I am sooooo tired because I stayed up all night finishing the entire Book of Mormon.
2 -- I hate this. I am soooooo nervous. I mean being the new Relief Society President is one of the biggest jobs in the church!
3 -- Oh man, I am soooooooooooo exhausted. I mean we had to pack up our entire family, drive to Mexico and then teach an entire community how to cook and clean.
4 -- I am soooooooooooooooo poor. Oh man, after buying that houseboat and jet skis, then hosting that week long party for the Ward, what more should I expect?
5 -- I am so mad. We thought our brand new, ten thousand square foot home would be done by this weekend and the contractor says the one-of-a-kind imported tile shipment from Italy is going to be late!
6 -- I am sooooo sore. I spent the entire weekend pulling every weed in our non-member neighbor's yard and then his neighbor asked me to pull his too.
7 -- Look at my hands. Can you believe it? They are all cut from spending the entire day out at the Bishop's storehouse loading and unloading 20 pound food crates.
8 -- It is so hard having 12 children. Some days I think I am going to die because I have sooooo many children.
9 -- I can't believe how much stupid time it takes to meet with our financial investor to go over all of our investments.
10 -- I have spent soooooo much time doing all of my geneaology, all the way back to the early 1200's, that I'm afraid I might go to go blind.
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