HAPPY VALENTINE'S BREAKING NEWS: VALENTINE'S CARDS FOR SOMETIMES OVERLOOKED MEMBERS OF THE LDS CHURCH

Top Ten LDS Valentine’s Day Cards

to Sometimes-Overlooked

Members of the LDS Church:

(By Bettyanne Bruin)

1 - To Our Home Teacher on Valentine’s Day: Even though you don’t know us and have never met us before, we’d still like to wish you a very Happy Valentine’s Day.

2 – To All Primary Substitute Teachers: Happy Valentine’s Day, and thanks for substituting for my class last week and the week before and the week before that.

P.S. Could you possibly substitute for me again this week?

3 – To the Ward Chorister: On this Valentine’s Day, we’d like to tell you how much we love the way you lead the music, especially how we only sing the first and last verse of “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief,” and never the six verses in between.

4 - To The Ward Clerk – We love you - your wig, your high-tide pants, your wrinkled shirt, short tie and lint-covered blazer. What would Sacrament Meeting be like without you?

5 – To The Chapel Ushers – We love the way you hand out the program each Sunday in your obsessive complusive way, making sure the front cover is always facing towards us and is turned the right way.

6 – To the Basketball Referees: Even though we beat you up, throw chairs at you and call you every name in the book, we still love you!!! Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

7 – To the Unofficial/Junior Gospel Doctrine Teacher: We love the way you sit on the front row of Sunday School class every week and nod your head, “yes” in response to every comment the teacher makes. Your approval of the teacher’s comments makes it seem as though you are teaching the class as well, or that you know as much if not more than the teacher and we love the reassurance this gives us that the Ward is well-suprevised by an extremely dedicated Gospel Doctrine expert.

8 – To Members of the Sunday School Presidency: Even though no one in any Ward could ever name any person who fills any position in the Sunday School Presidency, we still appreciate your willingness to serve.

9 – To the Bishop’s Wife: Happy Valentine’s Day. Oh, you didn’t know it was Valentine’s Day? Sorry. We know sometimes the Bishop’s wife IS the last to know, but we still love you anyway.

10 – To the Ward Welfare Specialist: Happy Valentine’s Day. We hope you enjoy this romantic meal of cracked wheat pie, nonfat dry milk shake, nuts and dried fruits, on a table made of non-flammable, water-resistant cardboard, to the subtle light of a 24-hour emergency candle! Happy Valentine's Day!

WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE BREAKING NEWS: HAPPYJELLYBEANS 25 FAVORITE CHICK FLICKS

HAPPYJELLYBEANS 25 FAVORITE CHICK FLICKS:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

In honor of my daughter honoring Valentine's Day (see greedykristian.com), I hereby post my 25 favorite chick flicks.
Disclaimer: Because happyjellybeans has not watched
25 movies in hjb's whole life, this was not an easy task,
but I tried my very hjb best:



Y 1 - Always
Y 2- Marvin’s Room
Y 3 – Truman Show (hey, hey, hey! Truman LOVED life!)
Y 4 - Camelot
Y 5 - Romeo and Juliet (from the 70’s)
Y 6 - Steel Magnolias
Y 7 - While You Were Sleeping
Y 8 - Sleepless in Seattle
Y 9 - The Music Man
Y 10 - The Sound of Music
Y 11 – Somewhere in Time
Y 12- Love Story (with Ali McGraw—stupid movie of the 70’s, but I watched it and cried like 19 times)
Y 13 – The Way we Were
Y 14 – What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (strange, but very thought-provoking movie about love)
Y 15 – Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (Who didn’t fall in love with Paul Newman and Robert Redford every time?)
Y 16 – For that matter: Woodstock (I saw this like 50 times)
Y 17 – Hard Day’s Night – I LOVED the Beatles and screamed and sobbed every time I watched this movie
Y 18 - Yours, Mine and Ours - The old one with Henry Fonda.
Y 19 – I Love Lucy (not a movie, but she was my religion growing up)
Y 20 - The Three Stooges (giving too much of myself away now, but I loved them too, growing up. They were very influential in my formative years.)
Y 21 - The Story of the Making of the Hershey Bar (I wish they’d make this movie, with samples)
Y 22 - Greedy Kristian and Randy; a Love Story (how tender)
Y 23 - Grandcows are Such Special Things (check out greedykristian.com for more on this)
Y 24 – The Book of Mormon movie
Y 25 – My Step-Poppy, Your Step-Poppy; The World’s Greatest Love Story of all Time

(Feel free to add to this list by leaving a comment)

OLYMPIC BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN LDS RELIEF SOCIETY OLYMPIC EVENTS

Top Ten LDS Relief Society Olympic Events:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

1 - The Delluge – Which Relief Society is the most overwhelmed?

2 - Speedriving to Church meetings: Watch the sisters race to see who can drive to church the fastest.

3 - Cryatholon – Who will cry the hardest during R.S. Testmony meeting?

4 - Nice Hockey – Who can be the nicest of all the Relief Society sisters, really?

5 - Curling Iron – Best hairstyle with special emphasis paid to bangs.

6 - Doughboarding – Watch the sister compete in whose dough will rise the highest.

7 - Figure Hating – See the sisters interviewed to see who hates whose figure the most.

8 - The scaleleton – See which sister hates her bathroom scale the most.

9 - Downhill creaking – Watch the older sisters race to the Relief Society room to get the best seat.

10 - Mobsled – See who survives a mobbing generated by a huge scrapbook sale.