HAPPY VALENTINE'S BREAKING NEWS: VALENTINE'S CARDS FOR SOMETIMES OVERLOOKED MEMBERS OF THE LDS CHURCH

Top Ten LDS Valentine’s Day Cards

to Sometimes-Overlooked

Members of the LDS Church:

(By Bettyanne Bruin)

1 - To Our Home Teacher on Valentine’s Day: Even though you don’t know us and have never met us before, we’d still like to wish you a very Happy Valentine’s Day.

2 – To All Primary Substitute Teachers: Happy Valentine’s Day, and thanks for substituting for my class last week and the week before and the week before that.

P.S. Could you possibly substitute for me again this week?

3 – To the Ward Chorister: On this Valentine’s Day, we’d like to tell you how much we love the way you lead the music, especially how we only sing the first and last verse of “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief,” and never the six verses in between.

4 - To The Ward Clerk – We love you - your wig, your high-tide pants, your wrinkled shirt, short tie and lint-covered blazer. What would Sacrament Meeting be like without you?

5 – To The Chapel Ushers – We love the way you hand out the program each Sunday in your obsessive complusive way, making sure the front cover is always facing towards us and is turned the right way.

6 – To the Basketball Referees: Even though we beat you up, throw chairs at you and call you every name in the book, we still love you!!! Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

7 – To the Unofficial/Junior Gospel Doctrine Teacher: We love the way you sit on the front row of Sunday School class every week and nod your head, “yes” in response to every comment the teacher makes. Your approval of the teacher’s comments makes it seem as though you are teaching the class as well, or that you know as much if not more than the teacher and we love the reassurance this gives us that the Ward is well-suprevised by an extremely dedicated Gospel Doctrine expert.

8 – To Members of the Sunday School Presidency: Even though no one in any Ward could ever name any person who fills any position in the Sunday School Presidency, we still appreciate your willingness to serve.

9 – To the Bishop’s Wife: Happy Valentine’s Day. Oh, you didn’t know it was Valentine’s Day? Sorry. We know sometimes the Bishop’s wife IS the last to know, but we still love you anyway.

10 – To the Ward Welfare Specialist: Happy Valentine’s Day. We hope you enjoy this romantic meal of cracked wheat pie, nonfat dry milk shake, nuts and dried fruits, on a table made of non-flammable, water-resistant cardboard, to the subtle light of a 24-hour emergency candle! Happy Valentine's Day!