BREAKING NEWS: FRESH OFF THE PRESS! THE VERY FIRST MORMON DICTIONARY!!!

Apostasy: Cheering for the U of U at any BYU/UofU football or basketball game.

Elder’s Quorum: Also known as the official Ward moving company.

Fasting: Consuming enough food on Saturday night to last through to the end of church on Sunday.

Personal Journal: The only book on any LDS person's bookshelf that can remain unopened for the duration of one's life.

Prayer: What every Mormon does after seeing a cop while racing to the church on Sunday morning.

Relief: Knowing you’ll never be called as a Scoutmaster of Nursery Leader.

Word of Wisdom: Great suggestions on how to live a healthy life when not overdosing on coke or chocolate.