MORMON HORRORSCOPES!!!
WOW!!!
NOW, EVERY DAY YOU CAN KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOUR DAY WILL BE!!!
Take all the guesswork out of life
with
MORMON HORRORSCOPES!!!
"My husband and I love Mormon Horrorscopes! They've changed our lives forever!" says someone from LaVerkin.
"My dayplanner is easier to fill out now that I know what my day will be like with Mormon Horrorscopes." confesses a professional in Washington D.C.
Mormon Horrorscope for February 8, 2005: Either the same child as yesterday, or one of your many other children, will be mad at you again today, saying they can’t believe they picked you in the pre-existence. Later, while driving in your car, your mind will wander and, for a split second, you will wonder what it would be like if the second coming really did happen today. You will have so many good ideas about this subject that you start creating a church talk you believe you might give some day, should you suddenly be called out of the audience and asked to speak. Then, suddenly, you are cut off by a rude driver and almost yell an obscenity, until you remember you are teaching a class tonight on forgiveness. You decide you need a drink. After taking the last sip of the Big Gulp you just bought at 7/11, you suddenly feel guilty, and resolve to quit drinking so much caffeine. This thought causes you to turn the car around and refill your Big Gulp just in case you can’t get back there later. You eat too much dinner tonight, and then you become horrified by the late night news and comment to the person sitting next to you that, even you can't believe it but, these really must be the last days.
MORMON HORRORSCOPES!!!
"My husband and I love Mormon Horrorscopes! They've changed our lives forever!" says someone from LaVerkin.
"My dayplanner is easier to fill out now that I know what my day will be like with Mormon Horrorscopes." confesses a professional in Washington D.C.
Mormon Horrorscope for February 8, 2005: Either the same child as yesterday, or one of your many other children, will be mad at you again today, saying they can’t believe they picked you in the pre-existence. Later, while driving in your car, your mind will wander and, for a split second, you will wonder what it would be like if the second coming really did happen today. You will have so many good ideas about this subject that you start creating a church talk you believe you might give some day, should you suddenly be called out of the audience and asked to speak. Then, suddenly, you are cut off by a rude driver and almost yell an obscenity, until you remember you are teaching a class tonight on forgiveness. You decide you need a drink. After taking the last sip of the Big Gulp you just bought at 7/11, you suddenly feel guilty, and resolve to quit drinking so much caffeine. This thought causes you to turn the car around and refill your Big Gulp just in case you can’t get back there later. You eat too much dinner tonight, and then you become horrified by the late night news and comment to the person sitting next to you that, even you can't believe it but, these really must be the last days.
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