(Be sure to scroll down for Thursday's Mormon Horrorscope)
Everything I Learned About Life I Learned While Visiting Teaching:
1: When taking a treat, make sure the treat is edible to the person being visited -- and never take a plate of treats that has just been delivered to you by your own visiting teacher.
2: Visits should be twenty minutes long, but never more than three hours.
3: Never talk about anything that is none of your business, like guessing the weight or age of other sisters in the Ward, who might be hooked on Bonko, etc.
4: Give the message on the message and never on things like “Can you believe what Michael Jackson is up to now? Boy, these really are the last days!”
5: Be on time -- the sister you are visiting’s time -- not yours plus whatever extra time you just spent on your last visit.
6: Call before you go, preferably not while on your cell phone as you pull into your visiting teaching sister's driveway.
7: Have prayer with your companion -- with your head bowed and your eyes shut, not just a mutual prayer in your hearts that all will go well while racing from house to house.
8: Never comment on a sister’s messy home, especially if her house is not as messy as your house.
9: If a sister has a wayward child, never say, “This is for the best because there is so much you can learn from this.”
10: Report to your supervisor when you return home -- she’s been waiting all month for your call!
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