(feel free to copy and paste this along with the author's byline)
Watch out world, here they come...
by Bettyanne Bruin
Scrapbooking Barbie: With acid free paper, tape and pens, plus a house jammed with three-ringed binders filled with photos of happy, Celestial family members, Scrapbook Barbie has just earned her black belt in Karate and is ready for any scrapbook store sale anywhere. An application to second mortgage her home to financially support her heavenly habit also comes with this doll, along with a memo, reminding her not to forget to attend her weekly Scrapaholics Annonymous meeting.
High Priest Ken: High Priest Ken is proud to come with his very own, very accessible oxygen tank, walker, pillow and blanket. Yes, High Priest Ken is prepared to take a nap anywhere and everywhere. Watch High Priest Ken meet other High Priest Ken dolls and see them take the High Priest lesson so far away from the lesson objective that nearly apostasize!
Relief Society Barbie: With funeral potato-filled casserole dish in hand, Relief Society Barbie has just refilled her bottle of Prozac and is ready for any castrophe anywhere. See her cry over every tender story she hears and set up tables and folding chairs faster than her counselors can say, "Enrichment Night." Relief Society Barbie comes complete with a large oak table (complete with pieces of rolled masking tape stuck along the edge for posting visual aids), tablecloth, glass vase, fresh flowers and every quote-filled visual aid imaginable. ]
Hometeaching Ken: This doll comes with every accessible imaginable to never do his hometeaching: TV, remote control, couch, refrigerator, golf clubs, messy garage, whittling tools, fingernail clippers. Watch Hometeaching Ken come up with every excuse in the book to avoid ever seeing his assigned families -- from Breaking News stories to Cops to WWF. To help remind Hometeaching Ken of his monthly assignment, a day planner with only the last day of the month filled in with his families' names, is also included.
Testimony-bearing Barbie: With microphone always in hand, this Barbie comes with a voice so soft-spoken and high-pitched that even the hardest of souls will be touched. Listen to her share her experiences about everything from housefires to catastrophic illness to near-death experiences. Make sure not to miss her plea for everyone to vote Republican in the next National election or YOU might responsible for the world coming to a sudden and very-much unexpected end SOON!
Scoutmaster Ken: Watch out, cause this Ken really talks! Pull the string and listen to over-the-egder Ken swear at anyone who walks past, and yet he can quote the Scout motto perfectly. Camp-smoke scented, this Ken comes with his own, covetous, best campfire ever, matches, and cans of baked beans a-plenty, plus ten boys who never quit burping or passing gas no matter how many times you try to make them stop. Warning: This doll must be replaced often.
STAY TUNED! MORE BARBIE AND KEN DOLLS WILL BE AVAILABLE ON MONDAY!
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