Monday, April 04, 2005

Twas Breaking News: 'TWAS THE DAY AFTER CONFERENCE

'TWAS THE DAY AFTER CONFERENCE!!!
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
(Dedicated to K and R)

'Twas the day after Conference and all through the church,
every member was pondering heavy words of soul search;
I’m sure each house still reflected the party held there,
As people ate and slept while listening to Conference with care;

No longer was everyone all nestled around,
With visions of Heaven bouncing up and down;
Now Ma was in her workout suit, and I in my cap,
were wondering what to do next with our "updated map"

On how to get to Heaven amidst all this clatter,
with everyone thinking that something’s the matter.
It’s not time to bicker about this, that or bash,
but time to buckle down and step up our dash.

But then, later, amidst all of these things that I know,

about setting goals and committing to Heaven to go,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a tiny little ad for Wendover so near,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, we could go there and pick
just a few winning numbers on a table or slot,
So, without thought I called all of my fellow buddies lot;

"Now, Bud! now, Tim! now, Ed and John!

Come on, Rick! and Steve! and Bill and Don!
To the front of bus! And to the back of the bus!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away us!"

With dry sand along I-80, the bus it did fly,
Every obstacle we met, we quickly passed by,
And, before we knew it, out to the casino we flew,
With our wallets of money, diet Coke and chips too.

And then, in a twinkling, we heard at the door

The prancing and pawing of our companions galore.
Quickly, we drew in our card-filled hands, then 'round,
In the door they all came with a major PMS bound.

They weren’t dressed in fur, from their heads to their feet,
Oh no, they were all tarnished with an attitude complete!
A bundle of ideas they now had on their mind,
As they looked at us all with looks very unkind.

Their eyes did not twinkle! Their dimples were not merry!
Their cheeks were like roses, their nostrils flaring like cherry!
Their seething little mouths were turned down like a crow,
And the scowls on their faces... they really did show!

The flecks from some chocolate were still stuck in their teeth,
And the smell from it all encircled our heads like a wreath;
Their broad little faces and little round bellies,
Did not shake at all and we said, “Oh nellies!!!”

Some of them were chubby and plump, some were thin of self,

But we did not laugh when we saw them…because of our self;
The glare in their eyes and the twist of each head,
Soon told us to know we had big things to dread;

We spoke not a word, but went straight to our work,
Laying down our cards; we all turned with a jerk.
We picked up our money as we sheepishly rose,
Gave the dealer a nod, and out the door now we chose;

We sprang to the cars, to our team, gave no whistle,
But flew out of town like the down of a thistle.
But, we heard each wife exclaim, 'ere we drove out of sight,”
WILL THESE MEN EVER, EVER LEARN TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT?"



No comments: