THE MOST POPULAR LDS PHOBIAS:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
WordofWisdomaphobia: Fear that after all the tests you've passed here on Earth that drinking caffeine really will keep you out of the Celestial Kingdom.
BadEarthquakeTimingaphobia: Fear of having an earthquake happen while watching an “R” rated movie and having your picture appear on the front page of the newspaper while rescuers attempt to save you from the R-rated theater movie seat you’re sitting in.
Nurseryaphobia: Fear of being called as the next Ward Nursery leader or the fear of never ever being released as the current Ward Nursery leader.
Idahoaphobia: Fear of running out of gas while on your way to Idaho to buy a lottery ticket and being picked up by a fellow member of your Ward.
Scoutmasteraphobia: Fear of being called as the next Ward Scoutmaster or the fear that you are currently serving as the Ward Scoutmaster or the fear of never being released as the Ward Scoutmaster or all of the above.
GroceryStoreaphobia: Fear of having one of your most conservative but nosiest Ward members witness you buying cooking sherry.
Missionaryaphobia: Fear that one of your nonmember friends will find out that you really did arrange for the missionaries to contact them.
HavingAllOfYourSinsBeMadeKnown
InTheNextLifeaphobia: Fear of what it will feel like to have a full, complete and clear recollection of everyone of your sins down to the pencils you've stolen, the people you cut off on the freeway, the telemarkets you hung up on...every single painful one of them!
LastDays/SignsOfTheTimesExpertaphobia: Fear of those who claim they know when the last day on Earth will be here. Note: Authorities in the field of LastDays/SignsOfTheTimesExpertahopia claim this is a very good phobia to have.
FastSundayaphobia: Fear that not allowing enough food intact will cause you to suddenly die. Note: This phobia always leads to ObssessiveCompulsiveBinging disease.
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