Ye oLd MoRmOn HoRrOrScOpE FoR MaRcH 1, 2005:
You will actually feel a very real feeling of the luck o’ the Irish coming your way soon, and then an anxious and guilt-ridden thought will follow, “Should I really be feeling this way, considering I am Mormon and St. Patty’s Day is a Catholic holiday?” This St. Patty’s Day thought will not cause you to stray into the area of tempatation, specifically, wanting to have your palm read or attend a Taro card reading, no. You will simply feel a bit lucky today. Yet, since you’ve made a vow to never gamble, you will feel your greatest luck will come in the form of giving instant life-altering advice to other people. Because of this, for every comment someone makes to you, you will launch you into a Mr. Brady Bunch-type response, until someone (possibly one of your many children or an in-law) will say, “So, who died and made you King?” And suddenly you will be reminded of the importance of being humble, of sincerely being a “member” of the Earthly team struggling, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, to survive this horrible, overwhelming life that seems almost too unbearable to survive, rather than Heaven’s one and only know-it-all. This thought will cause a deep low to come upon you and you will panic that maybe you have somehow misinterpreted your whole mission here upon the Earth afterall, or, even worse, maybe all of those hours watching “American Idol” has been, as you were warned, some kind of secret combinational plot to divert you away from your true mission. As a result, you will vow to do things differently from this point forward, including apologizing to the Ward Librarian you yelled at last Sunday because she accidentally gave the television you reserved for your class to a Primary class instead.
No comments:
Post a Comment