BEST NEW MORMON PRODUCTS FINALLY FOUND!!!!
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
Deacon Basketball Player Repellent: No Relief Society sister should ever go without this product on their church hall closet shelf. Never face another annoying kid holding a basketball under one arm again. This spray is guaranteed to send them on their irritating way forever! "We love this product!. Ever since using this product, we have not seen hide nor hair of any of those lower-level thinking people who believe the world revolves around them." Sister Lemme Adam, second counselor in the Relief Society Presidency
Millennial Sensor: Finally, eliminate all your fears! This sensor, placed on your roof can easily identify all of the “signs of the times” that could indicate an early Second Coming! Be the first in your neighborhood to know for sure! Now is the time to buy! "This product has changed our lives. Now we sleep peacefully every night. And our non-member neighbors have already asked us to inform them of any alerts we receive!" Mr. and Mrs. C. Itall First, ultra-concerned citizens, official members of the Millenial-watchers Association and inventors of the Millennial Sensor
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