Do’s and Don’ts for Ward Bishopric Members:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - Do attend all your meetings.
Do not let the Ward catch you in your driveway during Sunday School in shorts hitching your boat up to a truck on your way to Lake Powell.
2 - Do have musical numbers performed during Sacrament Meeting:
Do not have a member play, “How Great Thou Art,” on their garage hand saw.
3 - Do compliment your speakers.
Do not compliment women who cry their whole way through their testimony and then say, “I’m sorry I’m such a big boob,” by saying, “That’s okay, Sister. We like big boobs.”
4 - Do hold tithing settlement.
Do not laugh and say, when you see the total amount of tithing paid, “How’d you get by on that?”
5 - Do give to every member of the Ward.
Do not give so much to every member of the Ward that you get burn out, take off in the middle of the night, go missing for three days and then become found pumping gas in a small town in Southern Utah.
6 - Do relax during Sacrament Meeting.
Do not relax so much that you fall asleep and drool on the shoulder of the person seated next to you.
7 – Do maintain your personal life.
Do not maintain your personal life so much that you wear a blue sweater under your suit coat every time BYU wins a football game.
8 – Do interview the youth bi-annually.
While interviewing the youth, do not ever scream the words, “You did what?”
9 – Do visit the elderly.
After visiting the elderly, do not ever let any of them over hear you saying to another Ward member, "Why would Heaven allow these people to live so long that they have to become a burden to everyone?"
10 – Do be the father of the Ward.
Do not be the father of the Ward so much that you end up grounding people, giving long Robert Reed-type speeches, not listening when spoken to or telling stupid “Dad” jokes.
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