YO BABY BREAKING NEWS: SOME BIG NEWS HAS BROKEN OUT IN THE HOOD

YO MORMON MAMA'S SO...
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

Yo Mormon Mama’s so weird that she’ll only consider sitting in a different seat in the chapel if stripped of her free agency.

Yo Mormon Mama’s so freaky that she believes every meal should include funeral potatoes.

Yo Mormon Mama’s so odd that she hopes someday she’ll own her own school bus so she can carpool all of her kids at the same time.

Yo Mormon Mama’s so uptight that she thinks fetch is a swear word.

Yo Mormon Mama’s so strange that her idea of a federal crime is scheduling a basketball game during Enrichment night.

Yo Mormon Mama’s so bizarre that she believes everything in life should be taped or glued onto the pages of a three ring binder

Yo Mormon Mama’s so out in left field that she thinks the world has come to an end every time she loses another Relief Society sign-up sheet.

Yo Mormon Mama’s so nutty that, to her, every problem in life is solved with a three-hour lecture.

Yo Mormon’s so beyond repair that she believes chewing gum on Fast Sunday is an absolute sin.