THE VERY FIRST MORMON CHAIN LETTER
(Bettyanne Bruin)
Dear Brother and/or Sister of any and/or every Ward in the Church,
First of all: THIS IS NOT A CHAIN LETTER!!! Even though this looks like a chain letter, sounds like a chain letter and reads like a chain letter, THIS IS NOT A CHAIN LETTER!!! This is an official worldwide-linking-of-brothers-and-sisters-through-this-highly-effective-form-of-LDS-correspondence-system.
Please, take one cup of wheat and mail it to the first person to appear on the list below, then add your name to the bottom of the list. Then, send this letter to ten people, and within two weeks your entire family will receive more than enough wheat to last a lifetime!
If you do not want more wheat, simply change the focus of the letter to whatever your current need is, send that item out to the first person on the list, then send this highly-effective-form-of-LDS-correspondence-system to ten people and you will receive more than enough of whatever it is you need to last a lifetime -- Coke, Pepsi, chocolate, scrapbooking materials, children, Primary substitutes, camp directors, nursery leaders, etc.
Warning: Please do not break this chain, or, um, this highly-effective-form-of-LDS-correspondence-system. We heard someone did that once and the families participating within that particular correspondence system cluster nearly died as a result of being caught in the middle of a catastrophic disaster, including earthquakes in diverse places, unexpected and expected job loss, the birth of more children than expected, spending too much money on Christmas, one second coming false alarm, etc. All of the families within this particular highly-effective-form-of-LDS-correspondence-system cluster nearly died! So, please, take this correspondence system directive seriously.
DO NOT BE THE ONE TO BREAK THIS CHAIN, or, um, Highly-effective-form-of-LDS-correspondence-system. But, feel free to be the one who will be the biggest hero in this life and possibly the biggest hero in the next life as wellt life!
You must send this within the next five minutes or the chain, or, um, the Highly-effective-form-of-LDS-correspondence-system will be broken and you will be the one eternally responsible for any and all consequences that happen to you, any of your loved ones or any of the other six billion people roaming the Earth. So do it, and do it now!
With great faith and hope.
We know you can do it!
Do it now!
Five people!!!
Five minutes!!!
Don’t disappoint us!!!
Or else…..
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