Friday, May 27, 2005

OH MY ACHING BACK BREAKING NEWS: HOW TO PREPARE TO BE YOUR WARD'S NEXT ELDER'S QUORUM PRESIDENT

How to Prepare to Be Your Ward’s
Next Elder’s Quorum President:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

1. Make sure you live in a Ward with streets that are all level.

2. Make sure to become familiar with all of the people you don’t know or with whom you have never met.

3. If you weren’t called to this position because you currently own a truck, make sure to go out and purchase a very sturdy truck, preferably one with a moving van-type, enclosed back with a very dependable ramp.

4. Now, go to U-Haul or Home Depot and purchase a large dolly (preferably with straps) for transferring heavy objects, like refrigerators and pianos.

5. Make sure to update your health insurance to include physical therapy at a reputable physical rehab facility.

6. Be sure to purchase a cell phone, so that you can be reached anywhere, anytime, at a very last minute’s notice.

7. Make sure to purchase a palm-pilot to update and keep track of the two or three Ward members who are willing to help you move all of the people from Item #2 who do not abide by Item #1.

8. Six months after your calling, begin using item #5.

9. If item #5 doesn’t help, get rid of item #6 and 7.

10. Now you are fully prepared to be your Ward’s next Elder’s Quorum President.

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