TOP TEN .COMS FOR LDS PEOPLE
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - helpimscrapbookingandicantstop.com
2 - neverfallasleepinanothermeetingagain.com
3 - familyhomeeveningsthatactuallywork.com
4 - idontwanttoteachmylessononsundayand
cantfindasubstitute.com
5 - whyarentiperfectyet.com
6 - bestandcheapestldsmedicationsavailableonline.com
7 - thechoristerkeepscallingandaskingmetojointhechoir
andidontwantto.com
8 - helpimthescoutmaster
andidontwanttobe.com
9 - sick-freenurseriesnow.com
10 – homemakingprojectsmadefromleft-overfuneralpotatoes.com
Friday, May 26, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
GASPING BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN THINGS LDS PEOPLE GASP OVER
TOP TEN THINGS LDS PEOPLE GASP OVER
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – Whenever someone becomes engaged.
2 – Whenever a woman announces she is pregnant.
3 – Upon the announcement of who the new Ward Bishop is.
4 – Whenever a restaurant runs out of Coke or Pepsi.
5 – Upon hearing a missionary read where he or she has been called to.
6 – Upon any bad call made in a BYU vs. U of U sporting event.
7 – Upon receiving a very exciting or very yucky new Ward calling.
8 – Upon hearing someone is gay.
9 – Upon hearing someone came home early from their mission.
10 – A long and sustained gasp always happens whenever the announcement is made in Relief Society that the sisters reached 100 percent visiting teaching for the month.
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – Whenever someone becomes engaged.
2 – Whenever a woman announces she is pregnant.
3 – Upon the announcement of who the new Ward Bishop is.
4 – Whenever a restaurant runs out of Coke or Pepsi.
5 – Upon hearing a missionary read where he or she has been called to.
6 – Upon any bad call made in a BYU vs. U of U sporting event.
7 – Upon receiving a very exciting or very yucky new Ward calling.
8 – Upon hearing someone is gay.
9 – Upon hearing someone came home early from their mission.
10 – A long and sustained gasp always happens whenever the announcement is made in Relief Society that the sisters reached 100 percent visiting teaching for the month.
Monday, May 22, 2006
SURVIVAL BREAKING NEW: TOP TEN OTHER THINGS THAT MUST ALSO GO IN A LDS SURVIVAL KIT
TOP TEN OTHER ITEMS THAT
MUST GO IN A LDS SURVIVAL KIT:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – Your cell phone
2 – Your IPod
3 – Your lottery ticket
4 – Your anti-depressants
5 – Your scrapbooking material
6 – Bonko
7 - Some cases of Coke or Diet Pepsi
8 – A couple of copies of The National Enquirer and People magazine
9 – Hairspray, make-up and a butane curling iron
10 – The family pet.
MUST GO IN A LDS SURVIVAL KIT:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – Your cell phone
2 – Your IPod
3 – Your lottery ticket
4 – Your anti-depressants
5 – Your scrapbooking material
6 – Bonko
7 - Some cases of Coke or Diet Pepsi
8 – A couple of copies of The National Enquirer and People magazine
9 – Hairspray, make-up and a butane curling iron
10 – The family pet.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Top Ten Signs You Might Be Taking Your Calling as the Gospel Doctrine Teacher Too Seriously:
1 - Class members who forget their scriptures are threatened with their lives.
2 - You prepare your lessons one year in advance.
3- All of your visual aids are professionally made.
4 - You do not allow any noise in your classroom, including baby’s crying, coughing, sneezing, oxygen tanks and any labored breathing.
5 - You use Power Point.
To be continued...
1 - Class members who forget their scriptures are threatened with their lives.
2 - You prepare your lessons one year in advance.
3- All of your visual aids are professionally made.
4 - You do not allow any noise in your classroom, including baby’s crying, coughing, sneezing, oxygen tanks and any labored breathing.
5 - You use Power Point.
To be continued...
Monday, May 15, 2006
TOP TEN REASONS WHY LDS PEOPLE SUFFER FROM MONDAY MORNING HANGOVERS:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – They eat way too much food on Sunday.
2 – They take way too long of Sunday naps.
3 – They watch way too much television.
4 – It’s tiring trying to smile for three hours straight.
5 – It’s stressful teaching a lesson you’re preparing while you’re teaching it.
6 – It’s tiring trying not to sin all day long.
7 – It’s exhausting dressing way up in the morning and way down in the afternoon.
8 – It’s tiring to sleep through so many meetings.
9 – It’s tiring trying to keep thinking of things you can do on a day when you feel like you can't do anything at all.
10 – Chasing a three-year-old for two hours straight can also be very tiring.
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – They eat way too much food on Sunday.
2 – They take way too long of Sunday naps.
3 – They watch way too much television.
4 – It’s tiring trying to smile for three hours straight.
5 – It’s stressful teaching a lesson you’re preparing while you’re teaching it.
6 – It’s tiring trying not to sin all day long.
7 – It’s exhausting dressing way up in the morning and way down in the afternoon.
8 – It’s tiring to sleep through so many meetings.
9 – It’s tiring trying to keep thinking of things you can do on a day when you feel like you can't do anything at all.
10 – Chasing a three-year-old for two hours straight can also be very tiring.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
CHOIRLY BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN SONGS THE MORMON TABERNACLE CHOIR CANNOT EVER SING!!!
Top Ten Songs the Mormon
Tabernacle Choir Cannot Ever Sing!
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1- 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall
2 - All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight by Hank Williams Jr
3 - Three Cigarettes in an Ashtray by Patsy Cline
4 - Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk by Rufus Wainwright
5 - Puff the Magic Dragon
6 - Beat It
7 - Devil Went Down to Georgia
8 - Influenza by Ace Johnson
9 - My Time Ain’t Long by Annabelle Sanford
10 - Margaritaville
Undecided:
1 - We are the World
2 - Love Train
3 - Yellow Submarine
Tabernacle Choir Cannot Ever Sing!
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1- 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall
2 - All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight by Hank Williams Jr
3 - Three Cigarettes in an Ashtray by Patsy Cline
4 - Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk by Rufus Wainwright
5 - Puff the Magic Dragon
6 - Beat It
7 - Devil Went Down to Georgia
8 - Influenza by Ace Johnson
9 - My Time Ain’t Long by Annabelle Sanford
10 - Margaritaville
Undecided:
1 - We are the World
2 - Love Train
3 - Yellow Submarine
Monday, May 01, 2006
MUSICAL BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN QUESTIONS ON THE APPLICATION TO BE WARD CHORISTER
TOP TEN QUESTIONS ON
THE APPLICATION
TO BE WARD CHORISTER
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - Type of wardrobe:
Clown
Old lady
Looking for a spousewear
High school teenager
Brittney Spears
2 - Type of glance:
Comforting
Validating
Authoritative
Killer (sing or else!)
I’d rather be anywhere else but here
3 - Type of smile:
Mannequin
Prozacial
Hitting on people
Sales
4 - Type of jewelry:
Jewelry for every holiday
Oversized
Undersized
Cheap
Cheap but looks expensive
5 - Type of wig:
Mile high
Cotton candy
Marge Simpson
Bouffant
Flat head
Wash ‘n wear
6 - Do you chew gum on Fast Sunday?
7 - Do you have false teeth?
8 - Do you chew gum with your false teeth?
9 – Type of nails?
Porcelain
Lee Press on
Guiness Book of World Record Length
10 - Have any of the following ever happened to you?
Fainted
Had a hole in the under arm of clothing
Phony nails fall off
Cry and can’t sing
Laugh and can’t sing
Accidentally poked self in eye
Lost beat of song and threw everybody off
Forgot words
Music stand fall over
If any of the above answers applied to you, congratulations, you are qualified to be the next Ward chorister.
THE APPLICATION
TO BE WARD CHORISTER
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - Type of wardrobe:
Clown
Old lady
Looking for a spousewear
High school teenager
Brittney Spears
2 - Type of glance:
Comforting
Validating
Authoritative
Killer (sing or else!)
I’d rather be anywhere else but here
3 - Type of smile:
Mannequin
Prozacial
Hitting on people
Sales
4 - Type of jewelry:
Jewelry for every holiday
Oversized
Undersized
Cheap
Cheap but looks expensive
5 - Type of wig:
Mile high
Cotton candy
Marge Simpson
Bouffant
Flat head
Wash ‘n wear
6 - Do you chew gum on Fast Sunday?
7 - Do you have false teeth?
8 - Do you chew gum with your false teeth?
9 – Type of nails?
Porcelain
Lee Press on
Guiness Book of World Record Length
10 - Have any of the following ever happened to you?
Fainted
Had a hole in the under arm of clothing
Phony nails fall off
Cry and can’t sing
Laugh and can’t sing
Accidentally poked self in eye
Lost beat of song and threw everybody off
Forgot words
Music stand fall over
If any of the above answers applied to you, congratulations, you are qualified to be the next Ward chorister.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
TOP SELLING BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN LDS ITEMS SOLD ON EBAY
TOP TEN LDS ITEMS SOLD ON EBAY
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – A piece of Gladys Knight’s left over French toast.
2 – A video tape of Donny Osmond’s last family birthday party.
3 – A bug in a jar that made it across the plains.
4 – One round-to-it
5 – A CD of Steve Young singing Christmas carols.
6 – A Basketball signed by Thurl Bailey before he joined the church.
7 – A copy of My Turn on Earth in Chinese.
8 – Someone’s calling as a Scoutmaster.
9 – A Primary picture with Johnny Depp in it as a visitor.
10 – A sealed envelope with a guaranteed date for when the millennium is to begin.
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – A piece of Gladys Knight’s left over French toast.
2 – A video tape of Donny Osmond’s last family birthday party.
3 – A bug in a jar that made it across the plains.
4 – One round-to-it
5 – A CD of Steve Young singing Christmas carols.
6 – A Basketball signed by Thurl Bailey before he joined the church.
7 – A copy of My Turn on Earth in Chinese.
8 – Someone’s calling as a Scoutmaster.
9 – A Primary picture with Johnny Depp in it as a visitor.
10 – A sealed envelope with a guaranteed date for when the millennium is to begin.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
REDEEMABLE BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN MOST POPULAR LDS COUPONS
Top Ten Most Popular LDS Coupons:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – Coupon good for saying “No” to one church calling.
2 – Coupon good for one free upgrade in the Celestial kingdom.
3 – Coupon good for claiming one year of 100 percent visiting/home teaching on all of your assignments.
4 – Coupon good for one free trade-in on any mission call assignment.
5 – Coupon good for forgiveness on committing one sin of your choice.
6 – Coupon good for being able to pursue the activity of your choice on any Sunday you choose.
7 – Coupon good for being able to choose, free of guilt, one R-rated movie of your choice.
8 – Coupon good for being able to use someone else’s food storage, should an emergency arise.
9 – Coupon good for being able to find out the scoop on one person of your choice in your Ward.
10 – Coupon good for being able to eat on the Fast Sunday of your choice.
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – Coupon good for saying “No” to one church calling.
2 – Coupon good for one free upgrade in the Celestial kingdom.
3 – Coupon good for claiming one year of 100 percent visiting/home teaching on all of your assignments.
4 – Coupon good for one free trade-in on any mission call assignment.
5 – Coupon good for forgiveness on committing one sin of your choice.
6 – Coupon good for being able to pursue the activity of your choice on any Sunday you choose.
7 – Coupon good for being able to choose, free of guilt, one R-rated movie of your choice.
8 – Coupon good for being able to use someone else’s food storage, should an emergency arise.
9 – Coupon good for being able to find out the scoop on one person of your choice in your Ward.
10 – Coupon good for being able to eat on the Fast Sunday of your choice.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
TASTY BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN UNOFFICIALLY APPROVED SACRAMENT MEETING TREATS
(HJB VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: This entry is inspired by attending Stake Conference on Sunday. Sat in the Cultural Hall, half way back, which means we got there just as the meeting started. As meeting wore on, the air conditioner did not kick in. The air became thick, became hard to breathe, maybe even suffocating; hot. In my despair, I glanced three rows in front of me just in time to witness what looked like a good LDS girl, sitting in her row with about ten other family members, pop open a can of soda! GEEZ! Some times life just isn’t fair! Have you ever seen any unusual things eaten in Stake Conference, or anything else crazy like that take place? Answer them in the comments section and I’ll post them, so we can all enjoy.
So, here’s to the girl who sat three rows in front of me:
Top Ten Unofficially Approved Sacrament Meeting Treats:
1 - Cheerios
2 - Fruit Loops
3 – Teddy Grahams
4 - Gum
5 – Tic Tacs
6 - Lifesavers
7 - Individually wrapped candies (Jolly Ranchers, Werther’s, taffy, bulk candy)
8 - Altoids
9 – Possibly a
10 – Possibly that little cheese and cracker tray with the red spreading stick, if used slowly and quietly.
Top Ten UNAPPROVED Sacrament Meeting treats:
1 – SODA!!!!
2 – Pop rocks
3 - Popcorn
4 – Peanuts
5 – Doughnuts
6 – Lunchables
7 – McGriddle breakfast tray
8 – Beef jerky (Kristin)
9 – Pizza
10 – Roast with mashed potatoes and gravy
Monday, April 24, 2006
AMERICAN IDOL BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN THINGS THAT PROVE ACE, FROM AMERICAN IDOL, IS MORMON!!!
Top Ten Things That Prove Ace,
from American Idol, is Mormon!!!
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - His mother attends a Ward in Boulder, CO (see bio, then click on comments at aceyoung.net) – could be LDS
2 - Another kid remembers him from his Primary class (see bio, then click on comments at aceyoung.net) – could be very LDS
3 - His last name is Young - VERY LDS
4 - When he was voted off American Idol he said, “Gosh!” - EXTREMELY LDS
5 - His first name is Brett - DEFINITELY LDS
6 – His middle name is Asa, after his LDS grandfather – ABSOLUTELY LDS
7 – According to his bio, he has four brothers - POSSITIVELY LDS
8 – According to his bio, he loves sports - GOTTA BE LDS
9 – He laughed a lot - HAS-TO-BE LDS
10 – He seemed to be very confident in front of a crowd – UNBELIEVABLY LDS
from American Idol, is Mormon!!!
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - His mother attends a Ward in Boulder, CO (see bio, then click on comments at aceyoung.net) – could be LDS
2 - Another kid remembers him from his Primary class (see bio, then click on comments at aceyoung.net) – could be very LDS
3 - His last name is Young - VERY LDS
4 - When he was voted off American Idol he said, “Gosh!” - EXTREMELY LDS
5 - His first name is Brett - DEFINITELY LDS
6 – His middle name is Asa, after his LDS grandfather – ABSOLUTELY LDS
7 – According to his bio, he has four brothers - POSSITIVELY LDS
8 – According to his bio, he loves sports - GOTTA BE LDS
9 – He laughed a lot - HAS-TO-BE LDS
10 – He seemed to be very confident in front of a crowd – UNBELIEVABLY LDS
Friday, April 21, 2006
SCOUTING BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN THINGS IN A SCOUT'S TWO-WEEK LONG BOYSCOUT CAMP SUITCASE
Top Ten Things in A Scout’s Two-week
Long Boy Scout Camp Suitcase
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1- One pair of underwear
2- One sock
3- Pair of shorts with the biggest hole in them.
4- One whoopee cushion
5- Enough matches and gasoline and/or lighter fluid to set the world on fire. 6- 4 cans of refried beans
7- 100 firecrackers
8- One air gun
9- 10 lbs. of candy
10- 2 six packs of warm soda
Long Boy Scout Camp Suitcase
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1- One pair of underwear
2- One sock
3- Pair of shorts with the biggest hole in them.
4- One whoopee cushion
5- Enough matches and gasoline and/or lighter fluid to set the world on fire. 6- 4 cans of refried beans
7- 100 firecrackers
8- One air gun
9- 10 lbs. of candy
10- 2 six packs of warm soda
MORE WARD BREAKING NEWS: MORE THINGS LDS PEOPLE WISH WERE IN THEIR WARD BUILDING
MORE THINGS LDS PEOPLE WISH
WERE IN THEIR WARD BUILDING
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
"That we had a DJ instead of a Ward chorister."
DPG from Sandy, UT
"That there were sleeper sofas in High Priests."
KRB also from Sandy, UT
WERE IN THEIR WARD BUILDING
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
"That we had a DJ instead of a Ward chorister."
DPG from Sandy, UT
"That there were sleeper sofas in High Priests."
KRB also from Sandy, UT
Thursday, April 20, 2006
WARD BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN THINGS LDS PEOPLE WISH WAS IN THEIR WARD BUILDING
Top Ten Things LDS people wish was in their Ward building:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - Vending Machines in the foyer
2 - Reclining chairs in the chapel with foot rests
3 - Big gulp holders
4 – All televisions equipped with picture on picture to update sports scores
5 – Confession booths with curtains
6 - An ATM machine
7 - Canned laughter
8 - Background music that kicks in like on the Oscars when a talk has gone too long.
9 - A nursery built like an air castle
10 - Chair racks with faster wheels
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - Vending Machines in the foyer
2 - Reclining chairs in the chapel with foot rests
3 - Big gulp holders
4 – All televisions equipped with picture on picture to update sports scores
5 – Confession booths with curtains
6 - An ATM machine
7 - Canned laughter
8 - Background music that kicks in like on the Oscars when a talk has gone too long.
9 - A nursery built like an air castle
10 - Chair racks with faster wheels
Friday, April 14, 2006
COZY BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN SIGNS TO TELL IF YOU'RE IN A LDS HOME
TOP TEN SIGNS
TO TELL IF YOU'RE
IN A LDS HOME
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - Scriptures on the coffe table
2 - Proclamation to the Family hanging on the wall
3 - Large dining room table with lots of chairs
4 - Survival kits by the front door
5 - Fifteen passenger car parked in the driveway
6 - All the volumes of Work and the Glory on a bookshelf
7 - Something BYU displayed somewhere
8 - A cupboard filled with candy, cookies and soda
9 - Zuccinni growing in the backyard
10 - Some form of tree piece of artwork, showing the family's pedigree
TO TELL IF YOU'RE
IN A LDS HOME
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - Scriptures on the coffe table
2 - Proclamation to the Family hanging on the wall
3 - Large dining room table with lots of chairs
4 - Survival kits by the front door
5 - Fifteen passenger car parked in the driveway
6 - All the volumes of Work and the Glory on a bookshelf
7 - Something BYU displayed somewhere
8 - A cupboard filled with candy, cookies and soda
9 - Zuccinni growing in the backyard
10 - Some form of tree piece of artwork, showing the family's pedigree
Monday, April 10, 2006
SUNDAY SCHOOL BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN THINGS ON A SUNDAY SCHOOL PRESIDENT'S SUNDAY TO-DO LIST
Top Ten Things on a
Sunday School President’s
Sunday To-Do List
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – Get up late enough to not comb hair
2 – Pick suit, shirt and tie up off floor from last week
3 – Get dressed.
4 – Go to Sacrament Meeting.
5 – Go to Sunday School.
6 - Wander halls.
7 – Yell at teenagers.
8 – Pick litter up off floors in hallways.
9 – Ring buzzer.
10 – Go home.
Sunday School President’s
Sunday To-Do List
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 – Get up late enough to not comb hair
2 – Pick suit, shirt and tie up off floor from last week
3 – Get dressed.
4 – Go to Sacrament Meeting.
5 – Go to Sunday School.
6 - Wander halls.
7 – Yell at teenagers.
8 – Pick litter up off floors in hallways.
9 – Ring buzzer.
10 – Go home.
BOO-HOO BREAKING NEWS: TOP THEN THINGS THAT MAKE MORMONS CRY
Top Ten Things That Make Mormons Cry:
1 - Baby Blessings
2 - Testimonies
3 – When BYU loses to the U. of U
4 - When their funeral potatoes are burned
5 - When a fast food restaurant is out of fry sauce
6 - When, the night before fast Sunday, their favorite all-you-can eat restaurant is closed
7 - When they just missed the biggest srapbooking sale ever! (Dedicated to Gennie -- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GEN!!!)
8 – When they accidentally buy a Coke instead of a Pepsi (or a Pepsi instead of a Coke)
9 – When someone brings them a candy bar AND IT'S NOT CHOCOLATE !!!
10 – When they don’t get “their seat” in the chapel.
1 - Baby Blessings
2 - Testimonies
3 – When BYU loses to the U. of U
4 - When their funeral potatoes are burned
5 - When a fast food restaurant is out of fry sauce
6 - When, the night before fast Sunday, their favorite all-you-can eat restaurant is closed
7 - When they just missed the biggest srapbooking sale ever! (Dedicated to Gennie -- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GEN!!!)
8 – When they accidentally buy a Coke instead of a Pepsi (or a Pepsi instead of a Coke)
9 – When someone brings them a candy bar AND IT'S NOT CHOCOLATE !!!
10 – When they don’t get “their seat” in the chapel.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
WARD CLERK BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN YES OR NO QUESTIONS ON THE APPLICATION TO BE A WARD CLERK!!!!
Top Ten Yes or No Questions
on the Application
to Become a Ward Clerk:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - First or middle name includes Ernest, Harold, Lester,
or Ralph? __________
2 - Number of toupees perched on Styrofoam heads
in closet? __________
3 - Number of leisure suits with white top-stitching? _______
4 - Number of briefcases for carrying lots of unimportant
papers? ________
5 - Capable of walking down an aisle while writing
on a very small piece of paper? _____
6 - Number of times dated in high school 1____ 2 ____
7 - Capable of staring off in the distance for at least
one hour and ten minutes with a stone face,
week after week, no matter what happens
at the pulpit? _______
8 - Dark circles under eyes? __________
9 – Willing to embarrass self by attempting to
read last names of new move-ins? ________
10 – Able to overlook any funny faced Deacon
or projectile coming at you from any funny-faced
Deacon sitting on the front two rows
before you? ________
Congratulations! You may qualify to be your ward’s next Ward Clerk!
on the Application
to Become a Ward Clerk:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - First or middle name includes Ernest, Harold, Lester,
or Ralph? __________
2 - Number of toupees perched on Styrofoam heads
in closet? __________
3 - Number of leisure suits with white top-stitching? _______
4 - Number of briefcases for carrying lots of unimportant
papers? ________
5 - Capable of walking down an aisle while writing
on a very small piece of paper? _____
6 - Number of times dated in high school 1____ 2 ____
7 - Capable of staring off in the distance for at least
one hour and ten minutes with a stone face,
week after week, no matter what happens
at the pulpit? _______
8 - Dark circles under eyes? __________
9 – Willing to embarrass self by attempting to
read last names of new move-ins? ________
10 – Able to overlook any funny faced Deacon
or projectile coming at you from any funny-faced
Deacon sitting on the front two rows
before you? ________
Congratulations! You may qualify to be your ward’s next Ward Clerk!
Friday, March 31, 2006
HAPPYJELLYBEAN BREAKING NEWS
Okay, okay. I repent. My intention is not to insult. And, whereas I received a concerned e-mail regarding the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, I would like to say, all of my blogs are meant to poke a little fun. If that one went into a bit of a stab, a happyjellybean apology is in order. What happened was, while watching conference, hbj is always mindful of all the games played. And, to poke fun that sometimes the joke is made that the Mormon Tabernacle members all look alike, or who are they, or what, I thought I would make a game, only in fun, but, like hjb always says, If a joke is only funny to one person, then that joke is just not funny. So, let's get back on track and go for a kinder poke:
Could I do this?
TOP TEN SONGS THAT SHOUD BE SUNG TO THE PROTESTERS WHO TAKE TIME FROM THEIR BUSY DAY TO VISIT LDS MEMBERS ON CONFERENCE WEEKEND:
1- If You're Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands
2 - If You Chance To Meet a Frown, Do Not Let it Stay
3 - Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, We're Glad You Came Our Way
4 - Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words to Each Other
5 - Time Flies On Wings of Lightening, Don't Let it Pass You By
6 - The World Has Need Of Willing Men
7 - Because I Have Been Given Much, I, Too, Should Give
8 - There Is Sunshine In My Soul Today
Or, another attempt at light humor:
Top Ten Things Heard Around the House on Conference Weekend:
1 - "Pass the popcorn."
2 - "Dad, quit snoring!"
3 - "Change it back!"
4 - "Get up, conference has started!"
5 - "Did they just put (name of close friend) in as a General Authority?"
6 - "Wow, I didn't know we had that many members in the church."
7 - "When I was a kid, there were only 10,000 missionaries in the mission field."
8 - "When I joined the church, there were only 12 temples!"
9 - "Dad, quit snoring."
10 - "Mom, tell ____ to quit hitting me."
Could I do this?
TOP TEN SONGS THAT SHOUD BE SUNG TO THE PROTESTERS WHO TAKE TIME FROM THEIR BUSY DAY TO VISIT LDS MEMBERS ON CONFERENCE WEEKEND:
1- If You're Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands
2 - If You Chance To Meet a Frown, Do Not Let it Stay
3 - Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, We're Glad You Came Our Way
4 - Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words to Each Other
5 - Time Flies On Wings of Lightening, Don't Let it Pass You By
6 - The World Has Need Of Willing Men
7 - Because I Have Been Given Much, I, Too, Should Give
8 - There Is Sunshine In My Soul Today
Or, another attempt at light humor:
Top Ten Things Heard Around the House on Conference Weekend:
1 - "Pass the popcorn."
2 - "Dad, quit snoring!"
3 - "Change it back!"
4 - "Get up, conference has started!"
5 - "Did they just put (name of close friend) in as a General Authority?"
6 - "Wow, I didn't know we had that many members in the church."
7 - "When I was a kid, there were only 10,000 missionaries in the mission field."
8 - "When I joined the church, there were only 12 temples!"
9 - "Dad, quit snoring."
10 - "Mom, tell ____ to quit hitting me."
Thursday, March 30, 2006
CONFERENCE BREAKING NEWS: TOP TEN "CAN YOU FIND A MEMBER OF THE MORMON TABERNACLE CHOIR WHO LOOKS LIKE..." CONFERENCE GAME
Top Ten "Can You Find a Member
of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Who Looks Like..." Conference Game
by
Bettyanne Bruin
Can you find a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Who Looks Like:
1- He or she has been in at least one Ward basketball fight?
2 – He or she sleeps during all of his or her Sacrament meeting?
3 – He or she has never done any genealogy?
4 – He or she does not believe in having a food storage?
5 – He or she plays the penny slot machines while traveling through a gambling zone?
6 – He or she believes the end of the world is coming any day?
7 – He or she has had a face lift?
8 – He or she has yelled at his or her neighbor’s dog?
9 – He or she is addicted to Jolt.
10 – He or she goes home during Sunday School.
of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Who Looks Like..." Conference Game
by
Bettyanne Bruin
Can you find a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Who Looks Like:
1- He or she has been in at least one Ward basketball fight?
2 – He or she sleeps during all of his or her Sacrament meeting?
3 – He or she has never done any genealogy?
4 – He or she does not believe in having a food storage?
5 – He or she plays the penny slot machines while traveling through a gambling zone?
6 – He or she believes the end of the world is coming any day?
7 – He or she has had a face lift?
8 – He or she has yelled at his or her neighbor’s dog?
9 – He or she is addicted to Jolt.
10 – He or she goes home during Sunday School.
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