Wednesday, November 16, 2005

BREAKING NEWS: HAPPYJELLYBEANS CRACKS 10,000 HITS WITH LDS TELEVISION VIEWING HABITS

In honor of happyjellybeans going over the 10,000 mark, today a double posting will be made on happyjellybeans. CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE AND THANK YOU!!!!

happyjellybeans was featured on the front page of the Close-up section of The Salt Lake Tribune on Friday, November 11, 2005. To see the story, just click on the following link:

http://sltrib.com/sandy/ci_3202625

THANK YOU ALL, AGAIN!!!


Where Do You Fit In?
Can Television Really Rate Where You Are in Your Eternal Progression?
Rate Yourself Now
on the LDS Sabbath Day Television Viewing Habits Scale:

Group Number One: NO TELEVISION WATCHING AT ALL – THE TELEVISION IS COOL TO THE TOUCH – NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT, MISSES IT OR IS EVEN TEMPTED TO GO NEAR IT:

Rating: 100 points.
Congratulate yourself. You are going to Heaven. And the best part of all, Geraldo Rivera will not be there to broadcast the news, nor will Donald Trump be there to bother us (oops, I mean you) with any of his stupid new, shows.

Group Number Two: TELEVISION VIEWING IS ACCEPTABLE, BUT ONLY CHURCH MOVIES, VIDEOS, CONFERENCE, TALKS, ETC.:

Rating: 98 points.
Congratulate yourself. You, too, will make it into Heaven. And you will be coveted by all of those people in Group One who actually thought their absolutely- no-television-watching-in-my-home habit would be a one-up on you.

Group Number Three: THE WATCHING OF LDS SHOW, PLUS OTHER RELIGIOUS SHOWS:

Rating: 70 points.
You still might be able to go to Heaven, but the jury is still not out on this one, even though you believe you will be going. Why? Because you believe that while you might be sinning in the eyes of Group Number One, your habit of watching such "Televangelist” shows as The Crystal Cathedral, are still of a religious nature.

Group Number Four: MEET THE PRESS:

50 points.
Uh oh, going to Heaven might be looking a little risky at this point. However, you believe that your loyalty to our country might save you and that it is our duty to be informed voters, concerned citizens and full-time supporters of the twelfth Article of Faith, even though you couldn't recite this article if your life depended on it.

Group Number Five: ESPN:
49 points.
While you’re not all-out watching total sports, you have really drifted away from Groups Number One – Three, even though you don't see any difference in watching Meet The Press or ESPN. So, as far as you’re concerned, where ever Group Number Four goes, you go.

Group Number Six: NFL FOOTBALL:

Now you’re talking! Oops, I mean, 40 points.
You have really drifted away from the island of television purity. Even though you’d like to justify your habits by saying you are supporting your priesthood brethren, this does not fly in the face of Group Number One. You might have to start doing your genealogy or be 100 percent in your home teaching to make up for this one.

Group Number Seven: COPS.

K, now, you are way out there. 0 points.
There is no way in Heaven that Heaven has a place for people who enjoy sitting in a chair, eating popcorn while watching the lowest forms of life being handcuffed and hauled off to jail (unless it's a former missionary compainion). You might have to agree to be the Ward Scoutmaster to make up for this one!

When it is all said and done, where does television fit into the big picture (no pun intended)? Only you can decide for yourself.



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