Monday, July 11, 2005

FAMILIAL BREAKING NEWS: INGREDIENTS FOR A SUCCESSFUL FAMILY HOME EVENING

Ingredients for a Successful Family Home Evening:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

First: 1 to 100 family members, each carrying some type of challenge that keeps them one fight short of a complete nervous breakdown.

Second: 1 homemade treat, preferably homemade ice cream, S’mores, Rice Krispie treats, brownies or that 9X13 cake with holes punched in it dripping with caramel and Cool Whip on top.

Third: 1 clock, totally in bird’s eye of Father, so he hawk-eye it enough to know when the second arrives to announce that the prearranged time of twenty minutes has arrived and FHE is over or else.

Fourth: 1 newspaper nearby for father to eye over and/or sneak onto lap.

Fifth: 1 time-out chair, empty and ready to go, so Father can stand and point while ordering disobedient child go there or else.

Instructions:

1. Yell for family to gather.

2. Threaten to ground those family members who take too long to gather, including 90 year-old Grandpa who now lives with the family.

3. Have an opening prayer.

4. Ask if there is any family business.

5. At 10 p.m., after the last fight has finally ended, have a closing prayer,
or, if there is no family business:
play hangman to introduce lesson theme, attempt to give as much of the lesson as possible before the huge, out of control, FHE-ending fight breaks out.

6. Have a closing prayer.

7. Servethe treat.

8. Make assignments for next Monday’s FHE.

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