10 THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO AS A MEMBER OF THE LDS CHURCH IN THE YEAR 2005:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
1 - NEW LDS JEWELRY to be made from all of the ingredients extracted from Funeral Potatoes!
2 - TWO YEARS SUPPLY OF FOOD STORAGE now available that fits in the palm of your hand!
3 - Finally, SCRAPBOOKING island is incorporated, where the only residents who can reside there spend their whole life cutting and pasting together their life in an endless set of three-ringed binders!
4 - First Purple Heart awarded to a SCOUT LEADER!
5 - Complete reverence achieved as PRIMARY meeting is shortened to only three minutes long!
6 - Candy and soda vending machines finally installed in all CHURCH foyers!
7 - After years of demands, WARD BASKETBALL season is finally replaced with ice hockey!
8 - YOUNG WOMEN'S Leaders are being warned against unseemly behavior as arrangements are made for Girl’s Camps to be held at The New Mauian Island Hotel and the leaders are unable to agree on who gets to go!
9 - PINEWOOD DERBY Dad is sentenced to 1 to 15 years in prison for bombing a Pine Wood Derby shop that PWD Dad felt intentionally sold him a flawed car that caused him to lose the race!
10 - 100 percent Home Teaching is finally achieved as a way is finally developed for home teachers to visit all of their families while asleep in their beds at night!
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