Monday, May 09, 2005

HAPPY, HAPPY BREAKING NEWS: CARDS LDS MOTHERS NEVER WANT TO RECEIVE FOR MOTHER'S DAY

GREETING CARDS LDS MOTHERS NEVER WANT TO RECEIVE FOR MOTHER'S DAY:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)


1. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom:

Here is a coupon for taking the whole day off to work on your genealogy!

2. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom:

With this sewing machine and endless material, now you can make everything we wear by hand!

3. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom:

And congratulations on being called as the next Den Leader.

4. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom:

I wish you could come and visit me, but the doctor says I’ll be out of drug rehab soon!

5. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom:

I hope you enjoy this cookbook: Best-tasting Meals Ever Because They Take All Day Long To Make From Scratch!


6. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom:

And thanks for teaching me so much about free agency that I’m happy to tell you I just joined another church!

7. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom:
When you’re through with all of your inhouse therapy, I hope you’ll feel comfortable with the idea of joining us again soon!

8. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom:
Even though you can’t ever be the perfect Mom (because if you were you wouldn’t be here on Earth) you’re about as close as any person can come to being perfect!

9. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom:
I want to be with you forever, except for the days where you drive me so crazy that I’d do anything just to go to the telestial kingdom instead!

10. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom:

I know you’re worried about the signs of the times, but I’m just glad to know you’re not one of them!


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