EVOLUTIONARY BREAKING NEWS: What Really Happens to a LDS Family While Watching General Conference!!!

WHAT REALLY HAPPENS TO A LDS FAMILY WHILE WATCHING GENERAL CONFERENCE:
(By Bettyanne Bruin)

1. A family humbly gathers. Father gleefully turns on television while Mother tenderly quiets the children. Two teenagers patiently sit on the couch.

2. Conference begins. Everyone in the room listens as all of the saints of the LDS Church are welcomed to another wonderful and glorious session of conference.

3. Mother and Father enthusiastically sing the opening song while the children begin to ask when they can have their first treat. One teenager kicks one of the children to silence the child while the other teenager kicks the teenager just because.

4. The first talk begins. Father dozes while Mother attentively takes notes. Intense squabbling begins amongst all of the children as they become equally irritating to each other. Mother turns up the television volume, to which Father wakes up unhappy, forgetting that Conference is even on.

5. Father reprimands one of the teenager’s who is now unraveling a crocheted afghan, made by Father’s Grandmother. The children cry so loud for treats that Mother can no longer take notes.

6. Meanwhile, the Conference speaker speaks about love in the home, but no one hears the speaker because of so many disractions.

7. This process repeats itself four or five times within a two-hour time frame.

8. And then Conference is over.

9. The family waits for the next session to begin.

10. A family humbly gathers. Father gleefully turns on television while Mother tenderly quiets the children. Two teenagers patiently sit on the couch...