Breaking News: Top Ten Talk that Should Never be Given
by Bettyanne Bruin
I was once in a ward where a man gave a talk on empathizing with Satan. I don't recall there ever being a quieter chapel, as everyone sat there... stunned. His talk include such ideas as, poor, poor Satan, that it must have been so hard for him to fight against the plan, what it might have been that was really bothering him and how we should have empathy for ALL of our brothers and sisters, including Satan. This has prompted the following list:
Top Ten Other Talks that Should Never be Given in Church:
1 - Can Tobacco Be All Bad if it Has Medicinal Purposes?
2 - The Pros and cons of paying tithing
3 - Because I have enough faith, I will never need anti-anxiety medications
4 - I Lost 100 Pounds Drinking Coca Cola
5 - In lieu of testimony, playing an Oakrigdge Boys song (this actually happened in a ward I was in also)
6 - Expressing gratitude for extended life after suffering a brain aneurysm while have intimate relations with spouse (this was also true in the same ward) and he explained in detail how this happened. I covered the ears of the child next to me!
7 - After Reading all of Isaiah, I Believe I Know the actual day the Second Coming will Arrive
8 - I Never Do My Home Teaching and Yet I Still Feel Blessed
9 - Because I got my husband sent home from his mission, he got a great job he would have missed out on
10 - How Spending So Much on Food STorage made us lose our home.
4 comments:
Ok... I have been "stalking" your blog and came across this posting on your site.
HILARIOUS. My subject today for my blog will be...
"Hey, Mr. High Councilman..."
Now those would be interesting talks, to say the least.
Enjoy your blog!
I know what you mean! We had a talk a while back on the WofW. Although backed by good intentions, this brother started his talk by posing the possibility that marijuana is an herb, therefore not against the WoW. He also stated that is wasn't a commandment when it was first received as revelation, failing to add that it later became a commandment. Oh my! Love the talker, not the talk!!
http://mydateswithgod.blogspot.com/
Love #3. Because I have enough faith I will never need my antianxiety meds. SO FUNNY TO ME. How many crazies have you heard give talks in church when all you could do is wish that they would take their meds. I can only say this because I am one of those crazy people who realizes that I need my meds no matter how much faith I have! SO FUNNY!
Post a Comment