Wednesday, January 25, 2006

ELDERLY BREAKING NEWS: TEN SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD TO SERVE A MISSION

Top Ten Signs You Might Be Too Old
To Serve a Mission
(by Bettyanne Bruin)


1 - When you say to someone, “I’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, would you like to know more?” they tell you to quit yelling at them.

2 - You tell the lady at the door what a nice dog she’s holding and she says, “This isn’t a dog, this is my baby!”

3 - When an investigator gives you a treat, you take out your teeth so you can chew it better.

4 - While putting on your lipstick, you see a bumper sticker that says, "God created a few perfect heads and the rest He gave hair," and it reminds you to put on your wig.

5 - When you hear the mission rule is to be in bed by 10:00 p.m., you can’t believe it -- that’s four hours past your bedtime!

6 - Your idea of tracting is making it from your bedroom to the bathroom.

7 – While other missionaries are going crazy ‘cause they forgot their scriptures, you’re going crazy ‘cause you forgot your glasses.

8 – While other missionaries are receiving Dear Johns from their friends, you’re receiving obituary notices of your friends.

9 – To you “the gray area of the Gospel” refers to your friends in the High Priests Quorum.

10 – Teaching about not being able to remember anything that happened before this life seems trivial compared to not being able to remember anything that happened before this visit.

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