WARNING, WARNING, DANGER, DANGER:
MORMON VIRUSES TO WATCH OUT FOR!!!!
(By Bettyanne Bruin)
The Basketball Players Virus: During rough times playing church ball, this virus has been know to cause players to sometimes “Byte” one another.
The Mormon Mother’s Virus: Known for causing this particular set of women to “Shut down and Reboot,” try avoiding this virus at all costs!
The Fasting Virus: This virus causes food to be “Deleted” from your life for a period of twenty-four hours.
The Primary President Virus: This virus causes the person in this calling to be unable to “Function” for at least fours days out of every month.
The High Priest Virus: Able to remain in a state similar to being put on “Pause,” this virus is temporary and usually ends at the end of Sacrament Meeting.
The Nursery Virus: This virus causes the leader to experience panic with each step she takes closer to nursery door, then, as she grabs the door handle, she repeats to herself until she can hardly move, “Enter” at your own risk.
The Every Mormon’s Virus: This is the worst virus of all because those inflicted with it suddenly develop the urge to drink “Tab” insead of Coke or Pepsi.
The Welfare Virus: Known for being a positive virus, this virus causes the “Storage Capacity” of your two year’s supply to constantly increase.
The Scrapbookers I Virus: This virus is very dangerous because it causes a person to “Save” everything.
The Scrapbookers II Virus: This virus usually follows Scrapbookers I virus, as it creeps through a person’s life and causes that person to “Copy and Paste” everything they see.
The Genealogist’s Virus: This virus is only irritating to family members of the person affected as this otherwise normal person continually exposes his or her ancestors to the “Find and Replace” process.
The Single Adult Virus: Causes every male in a LDS Single's Ward to keep one thought in mind while eyeing over the women in the Chapel: To “Select All.”
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